Callum grunts as he picks up a protein bar and nibbles on the end. “It’s too hard,” is his verdict. “It’ll damage my brace.”
Mabel sits in stony silence, staring at her white chocolate.
“What’s the matter?” Theo asks.
“I don’t like white chocolate,” she states, flatly.
“Yes, you do,” says Theo, “it’s your favorite. Adam’s got you the exact same brand I get at home.”
She wrinkles her nose. “I used to like it but I’ve gone off it.”
“Fine, don’t eat it then.” Theo stands up, briskly. “Cal and Mabel, get up: you can help us clear away.”
They look at him as if he’s just suggested they clean the floor with their tongues.
But Theo refuses to acknowledge their outrage. He thrusts the treats at them with the jug of leftover orange juice. “You can start by putting these away.”
Mabel stomps into the kitchen and flings open the fridge door, fire flashing in her eyes. “There’s no room in this fridge!” she snaps.
Theo and I position ourselves behind her and look inside the small fridge that must have been fine for Wilf but is now bulging with food.
“And where am I supposed to put my skincare?” she wails.
Theo shakes his head. “Mabel, what are you on about?”
She gasps. “Dad, if I don’t keep my skincare products in the fridge they’ll go off! At Mum’s I have a mini fridge in my bedroom.”
Theo rests his hands on his hips. “Well, how many skincare products have you got? I’m sure you can squeeze them in somewhere.”
“Dad, this fridge is stuffed full of beer and wine.” She eyes me, dubiously. “Adam, are yousureyou’re not an alcoholic?”
“Mabel, Adam isnotan alcoholic.”
“I don’t know,” I want to chip in, “it’s not even midday and I could murder a beer.”
But I keep quiet. And I bend down and slide a couple of beers out of the fridge. “Look, why don’t I put these in the larder and make some space for your skincare?”
Mabel smiles, possibly genuinely placated, but I suspect more than likely she’s savoring her little victory. I think she and Callum have been enjoying this.
I can’t bring myself to smile back at her. Because a warm beer isn’t the end of the world but once we’ve washed up, I know Theo and I are going to have to coordinate everyone’s showers. And with the house’s old plumbing, only one person can use the hot water at a time. Even before Theo’s explained, I can hear the kids moaning.
I can’t bear to imagine what they’re going to be like tomorrow. Because at eight a.m. the builders are arriving—and the situation is going to get a whole lot worse.
Chapter 6
After everyone has showered—an operation that was as fraught and frenzied as I predicted—Theo and I show the kids around the house. Their responses are just as predictable: Archie skips around, spotting corners and crannies where he can play with his figures and asking questions neither Theo nor I can answer; Mabel finds fault with everything, pointing out potential perils and expressing fear for her safety; and Callum just grunts and groans, refusing to engage. Theo and I exchange a look of camaraderie and lead them outside.
“Who’s ready for the next adventure?” Theo bellows.
“Me!” squeaks Archie, leaping in the air and giving a twist.
He’s dressed in tracksuit bottoms and a long-sleeved baseball top, which Theo chose for him so he wouldn’t get scratched by brambles. Mabel was happy to follow her dad’s brief and is wearing jeans, a long-sleeved raglan top and her scruffiest trainers. Callum, however, insisted on wearing gleaming white trainers that’ll be dirty in minutes, shorts, and his cherished Manchester City away shirt that has short sleeves. Theo was about to tell him to get changed, till I took him to one side and said Callum might be self-conscious about how much he sweats. So he let him off and saved himself for the battle over hats and suncream.
That turns out to be epic. Thankfully, Theo wins.
He and I put on our sunglasses and matching Panama hats.
“Right,” says Theo, “we’re all ready. Ads, show us round your estate!”
