Archie blinks a few times as he considers the proposition. “Yeah, OK.”
We set about dismantling the traps and throwing them away.
When we return to the patio to rejoin Callum and Mabel, they’re still on their phones—and looking increasingly agitated.
“Do we still not know what’s going on?” asks Callum, removing his earphones. “This is proper unbearable.”
“I’m afraid not,” I reply. “And I can’t nag Giuseppe any more.”
Mabel puts her phone down and suggests recording more social media content. “In case we do have to go home,” she says to me under her breath. “That way, I can keep posting from Manchester.”
She reports that over the last few days, engagement on our various channels has held up well but still comes mainly from already existing friends and connections: we’re struggling to widen our network. She did post a video of me playing with the kittens—introducing each of them by name—to which she added several cat hashtags. This attracted a lot of attention from largely female cat owners in the Midwest of America—but our clickthroughs to the website actually went down. “We should probs try something different,” says Mabel.
She suggests doing a post in which I appear with Theo—until Theo reminds her that, as a headteacher, he can’t generate content himself. “It’s fine if I happen to stray into someone else’s post, but I can’t be seen to promote a business.”
Archie must have overheard the conversation as he erupts. “I know! I can do a dance! The one where I wiggle my bum!”
He demonstrates and this raises a giggle.
“That’s superb,” says Theo. “But we couldn’t really have you in the videos unless your mum agreed.”
“Let’s phone her!” Archie suggests.
Theo rakes his hand through his hair. “Now’s not really the time, squirt.”
Actually, whatisthe time? I look at my watch and see it’s eleven o’clock. What’s taking Giuseppe so long?
Desperate to keep myself occupied, I come up with ideas for some TikTok videos. First, I suggest introducing our followers to Len and Lionel the gay lizards, then realize this might actually backfire. “Not everyone wants to share their home with reptiles, whatever their sexuality.”
“Why don’t you do something in the kitchen?” suggests Mabel.
Theo proposes a demonstration of how to make Italian coffee in a traditional moka, but we decide this isn’t fun enough—and too many people will know, anyway.
“You should cook something,” pipes Callum. “You love cooking.”
“But it needs to be something quick,” cautions Mabel. “What was that thing you made us on the first day?”
“I can’t remember.” Already the start of summer seems a lifetime ago, as if it happened to someone else. “Oh, afrittata! But you all thought that was rank!”
Mabel gives a sardonic grin. “We didn’t really. Surely you’ve learned that by now?”
Reasoning we can eat it for lunch, I agree.
As I fry an onion and spinach, crack and whisk the eggs, and fold in the ricotta cheese, I give a commentary to the camera. Just after I’ve slid myfrittatainto the oven, I hear a shout from Giuseppe.
“Adam! Adam! Where are you?”
Finally!
Mabel and I rush out onto the patio, where Theo and Callum have stood up, eager to hear what he has to say.
“I have good news,” booms Giuseppe. “The repair works!”
My stomach gives a little flip. “So we don’t have to do the whole roof?”
“No, we do not do the whole roof,” Giuseppe confirms.
Theo, Callum and Mabel cheer. Archie joins in, even though he has no idea why he’s cheering. And I find myself hugging a shirtless, slippery Giuseppe.
