I smile. “It’s brill, thanks. But the kids only finished school today so he took them shopping and now he’s doing their packing.”
Gloria whistles and fans himself with a menu. “Girl, he could pack my suitcase any day. That is one serious zaddy.”
“And that whole headmaster thing is a massive turn-on,” adds Dom, loosening his collar and blowing down it.
Gloria adopts the voice of a little girl and flutters his fake eyelashes. “Please, sir, can I have a detention? I’ve beenever so naughty!”
Our laughter is starting to sound like cackling. The woman at the next table looks over again, this time turning up her nose as if she’s caught a whiff of an open sewer.
I decide the restaurant is definitely too sedate. I don’t know why I hadn’t noticed before but it’s frequented almost exclusively by couples. Theo and I actually came here on our first date. After matching on a dating app, we’d migrated to WhatsApp and chatted for a few weeks, then decided to meet in real life. By that stage, I already knew he’d been married to a woman and had three children. What I didn’t realize was that he’d only been out of the closet for six months—and not just that but was still uncomfortable expressing his sexuality in public. At one point I leaned across the table to touch his hand—but he pulled it away. Warning bells rang.
I excused myself and went to the toilet to message my sisters on our WhatsApp group. I’d missed warning bells in the past but did I need to listen this time? Ian replied first and confirmed that this kind of behavior was a red flag. “If he’s only just started to accept himself, then he’s probably not ready to love another gay man.”
The others agreed.
I thanked them and returned to the table, determined to pull back. But I couldn’t. Theo was so handsome, with his blue eyes, hairy forearms and chest, not to mention those cute tortoiseshell glasses he wore to read the menu. Plus he made me laugh and made me feel safe in a way none of my ex-boyfriends had. There was no way he’d cheat on me or disappear for the weekend on a drink- or drug-fueled bender. I couldn’t even imagine him chippingaway at my confidence or putting me down—wrapping insults in compliments if we were in company—as so many of my exes had. That I was attracted to him and not to yet another man who could only ever bring me misery and heartache felt like a major step forward. I’d just have to try and ignore the warning bells.
At the end of the night, we stood outside the restaurant and I risked giving him a goodbye kiss. I was relieved when he didn’t flinch and the kiss developed into more than a quick goodbye. Alright, he may have had a few glasses of wine but he didn’t seem awkward and didn’t look around to check if anyone was watching. That’s when I knew that, if he was still adjusting to life as a gay man, he was at least ready to push himself and grow. Plus, he was a fab kisser.
The next day, Theo got in touch to say he’d booked us places on an Italian cookery course I’d mentioned reading about, only to find it was fully booked for months. But Theo knew one of the instructors and had somehow secured us places for the following Saturday. This was particularly sweet as I discovered he’s a terrible cook: he put one egg too many in the dough for his tagliatelle so it ended up soggy; he didn’t seal his ravioli parcels properly, so they all burst; and I don’t knowwhathe did to hiscantuccinibiscuits but they came out so hard that when he bit on them he chipped a tooth. We did have fun, though—and we laugheda lot. It was then that I knew there was no way I could stop seeing Theo, even if he had only recently come out. If he was still on a journey, I was going to be there to help.
“Seriously,” says Ian, “how do you feel about spending the summer with the kids?”
I drain half of my glass. “To be honest, I’m not looking forward to it.”
“I’m not surprised.” Gloria purses his purple, pink-lined lips. “It sounds as dreary as hanging out with a white girl who wants to discuss race.”
“What’s that saying?” offers Dom. “Kids are like farts—you can only stand your own.”
Now we really do cackle.
Gloria sneaks another tug on his vape. “I’m sure you’ll have a fab time, Addy. And if you don’t, that’s where the gin comes in.”
Dom runs his hand over the muscles on his forearm. “The important thing is, Theo’s really into you. You know what, I bet you’ll be engaged by the end of the summer.”
I scoff. “As if! His divorce only came through the other week.”
Gloria sits up. “I just thought, could that be why the ex-wife’s causing trouble?”
I wrinkle my nose. “I don’t see why; he gave her everything she wanted.”
Gloria wags his finger. “Addy, that bitch is on a revenge trip. I bet she’s plotting how to ruin your summer.”
“You’d better keep an eye on her,” agrees Dom, smoothing his moustache. “This may not be the end of it.”
I tip back the rest of my drink. “Fuck. That’s all I need.”
“Yeah, but look on the bright side,” chirps Gloria. “Whatever happens, we’ve still got our sisterly weekend.”
As soon as I told my friends that Theo and I were spending the summer in Italy, they started researching flights—and within a few hours had booked to come and visit for the first weekend in August. At the time, that was three weeks before the kids were arriving, so I thought it would work well. Now I’m not so sure.
Dom rubs his hands together. “I can’t wait to get to that castle, dump my stuff and open Grindr.”
Gloria lets out a whinny of excitement. “Same! I’ve always loved a nice, thick Italian salami.”
“You’ll be pleased to know I’ve already been researching the gay bars,” says Ian. “There’s one about twenty minutes away—on a gay beach!”
“Yes!” squeals Gloria.
