“As I was saying,” Shane continued, “we are creating a safe space for honest dialogue. This is a place to open your hearts. Speaking truth has the power to heal rifts in your relationships.”
Antonio wasn’t sure that was even possible. Jackie had this preconceived notion about him, formed from a ten-year-old misunderstanding, and he’d done nothing to repair the damage. This all could have been cleared up long ago. Maybe they could have moved on, even as friends. But now, everything was complicated by their careers and their individual relationships with his son. How exactly were they supposed to be honest and open with each other?
Locust fanned the skirt of her maxi dress as she sat on a mat, cross-legged. “We shall demonstrate how we want you to communicate to each other. Use I-statements like ‘I feel’ or ‘I am.’ Try to word your feedback in a positive way, even if you must share something that hurts you. If you’ve been in therapy, and I know some of you have, this language may be familiar. We ask that you soul-gaze: keep constant eye contact, no matter what. As one of you speaks, the other should not interrupt. Understand?”
The group hummed in agreement. Antonio looked at Jackie out the side of his eye. She looked over it already.
Shane sat across from Locust, taking a deep breath as he extended his hands to her, never breaking eye contact. As if on cue, the music lowered to a reasonable volume.
“I receive whatever you give to me,” they said in unison.
Locust rolled her neck back and forth before speaking. “I feel seen when you take my ideas into consideration, including those that are a bit unconventional.”
Shane smiled and responded, “I hear you and receive your words.” He took a breath. “I feel most safe when you allow me to express myself.”
Locust, apparently on the verge of tears, nodded. “I’m honored that you allow yourself to be free with me.”
Shane sniffed. “I hear you and receive your words.”
“What a crock of shit,” Antonio mumbled under his breath. They were saying a bunch of nothing, being all fake deep, giving each other what they wanted to hear. What about this was creating a deeper bond?
Shane wiped his eyes and turned to the audience. “Now, if you all would turn to each other and hold hands. For the first five minutes, we’ll set the tone with a soul gaze before speaking.”
Antonio sat on his mat and turned to face Jackie. He stared at her, taking in the look annoyance on her face as she avoided his gaze. It was cute, though. He tried to hide his amusement as he extended his hands. Jackie hesitated before placing her smaller hands in his. He tried to recall if he’d ever held Jackie’s hands for longer than a minute. Maybe in Vegas as they crossed the busy Strip? Or when they were getting tattoos? As he tried to remember, his eyes went to Jackie’s, who stared up at him. His heart felt lodged in his throat. As large and dominant as Antonio’s presence was, something about the way Jackie looked at him turned him into a soft pile of mush.
The bell rang again, startling both Antonio and Jackie.
“Begin your verbal communication now!” Locust said, with entirely too much peppiness. Antonio groaned. Overly chipper people made him uneasy. In every true crime documentary he’d ever watched, those types of people were serial killers.
Shane came over to Jackie and Antonio. “Graciela informed me that Ms. Miles has taken a sacred vow to rest her voice and will only speak using an app. We honor your boundary, Ms. Miles. For this exercise, we will permit the use of a phone if necessary.”
Antonio nodded. “Thanks, man.” He turned to Jackie. “Ladies first.”
Jackie pulled her phone from her pocket and licked her lips slowly, an action that should not have made Antonio’s dick twitch. He sat up straight, trying to focus.
Jackie stared at him for a moment longer before typing on her app. “I feel as if you think I’m a damsel in distress. It makes me feel weak.”
Antonio furrowed his brows. Weak was the last thing he thought Jackie to be. She was tough as nails, sometimes a little too tough. But he certainly admired that about her. “I hear you, Jackie. I feel… no…” he shook his head. “Iknowyou are tough. I respect it, but I feel—I want to be your soft place to land. For work or…anything. I want to be that for you.”
Antonio squeezed Jackie’s free hand gently.
“I hear you,” Jackie typed. “I appreciate that.”
Antonio sensed that Jackie was holding back. “Go on, please.”
Jackie sighed, then typed. “I appreciate that, but I don’t know if I want soft. I don’t even know how to be soft myself.”
Antonio smiled. “I feel that’s easy. Being soft doesn’t mean you’ll lose your edge. I can show you how if you trust me.”
Jackie frowned, then typed. “I feel like that’s not possible if I can’t trust you.”
“Why don’t you trust me?” asked Antonio.
“I-statements, remember?” Jackie’s app shot back at him, the snarky tone somehow mirroring her own.
“Right,” Antonio nodded. “I feel that I’ve given you every reason to trust me. I want to earn your trust if you’ll allow that.”
“I receive that,” the computerized voice responded. “And I feel that you’re hiding something from me. I’ve felt that from the beginning. From the night we met. Or the morning after, actually.”
