After a long, quiet ride from the airport in a SUV limousine, Jackie and Antonio made it to Alma y Tierra, an exclusive wellness resort on the beaches of Playa del Carmen. Large white gates opened to a long driveway lined with palm trees, leading to the most gorgeous, gilded entrance. Standing outside were several resort staff wearing all white, including a woman dressed in a long white dress and a massive white headwrap. She was definitely giving late nineties Erykah Badu. Her arms were adorned with so many bangles they would have put Bronwyn’s collection to shame.
When the limo came to a stop, two men stepped forward to open their doors and retrieve their luggage. Behind her shades, Jackie watched as Antonio took in just how many bags she’d brought. Jackie was a notorious over-packer, even for the shortest of trips.
“Welcome to Alma y Tierra,” said the woman with the headwrap. “I’m Graciela, your personal concierge for the duration of your stay. We hope that you find comfort and healing through our doors.”
A waiter presented a tray of shot glasses full of a mossy green liquid. Jackie picked up a glass and smelled it—and dear God did it stink. She hadn’t imagined she could smell something worse than the concoctions Thyme had her drinking a couple of days ago.
“A sea moss, blue algae, hemp, and wheatgrass booster shot. Helps to boost your immune system after the germ-filled flight,” explained the woman.
Jackie shook her head in a clearno thanks, placing the glass back onto the tray. She’d already thrown up once and didn’t need to embarrass herself anymore. The woman motioned toward Antonio, who looked skeptical.
“What the hell. Might as well,” Antonio mumbled before downing the shot. His face soured, and he coughed. “That was…uhm… interesting.” Another attendant brought over warm, scented towels to wipe their hands.
“Now, if you would follow me, I’d like to give you a tour of our facilities.” Graciela turned her back toward them as the large golden doors opened.
Jackie looked around. It was like stepping into a jungle oasis or an opulent greenhouse. Flowers were everywhere in the open-air lobby, as soft, new age music played throughout the speakers. There were large couches and chairs nestled between foliage; gold and stone fixtures lined the space. The concierge desks blended right into the decor.
“This is our lobby. Here, you can sit and enjoy the natural ambience. Of course, guest services are just steps away.”
Jackie opened her phone to type but realized the Wi-Fi was down. Again. She only had a few bars, indicating weak cellular service.
“Oh, cell service is a bit spotty,” Graciela explained.
“Okay, well what’s the Wi-Fi password?” asked Antonio. He looked at Jackie, acknowledging she needed her app to communicate.
“We ask that you take a break from technology while you’re here at Alma y Tierra. Get in touch with yourself. You won’t miss it.”
Who the hell restricted Wi-Fi in a $2,000 per night resort? Jackie pulled out her Notes app and typed, turning the phone to Antonio.
IS SHE FUCKING SERIOUS?
Antonio rubbed his forehead, mumbling, “Apparently.” He looked around the lobby. “Is there a bar? Maybe out by the pool?” He pointed toward the expansive infinity pool that overlooked the beaches below.
Graciela looked at Antonio as if he was an alien. “Absolutely not, Señor! No alcohol or other recreational drugs are permitted on the premises. This retreat is about clearing your mind and body. Such substances impede the path to wholeness.”
“Okay.” Antonio nodded. “I mean, I guess we can survive without a margarita.” He rubbed his belly. “But where can a guy get a good taco around here? Maybe a bomb mole enchilada?”
It had been a while since they’d had anything—besides cookies and crackers on the plane. Plus, Jackie had thrown up. Her stomach was touching her back. She could eat for sure.
“Yes.” Graciela’s smile brightened. “Our James-Beard-award-winning executive chef has an amazing selection of Mexican vegan options! Might I suggest our oyster mushroom tacos. They are riquisimos!”
Vegan? Jackie sighed loudly. She would rather eat a boiled jean jacket than a taco made of fungus. There was no way in hell she’d survive this time with Antonio without a drink and somerealtacos. This was turning into a trip from hell, and it hadn’t even really started. And to think, she was missing out on turning up with her sorority sisters and boss chicks at Homecoming for this!
Graciela clasped her hands. “If I may, I’d like to finish the tour before you all settle into your living quarters.”
Jackie motioned for Graciela to proceed as they followed behind her. She showed them sauna rooms of various temperatures and elements, the spa, meditation spaces, classrooms, and the onsite restaurant that had somehow earned a Michelin Star for fake meat. Clearly, some food critics had no taste.
Graciela led them down a winding path overlooking the beach, which was lined with hanging orchids and gorgeous vines. She stopped in front of a heavy, wooden door. “And here is your suite, Mr. And Mrs. Steele. We hope that the accommodations are to your standards. Your luggage is already inside.”
Okay, maybe it was the long flight and drive, but Jackie was sure she was hearing things. It’d sounded like Graciela said,Mr. and Mrs. Steele. Jackie looked up at Antonio, whose mouth was slightly agape.
He cleared his throat. “I…uh…I think there’s been a mistake. There should have been two reservations. One for Mr. Steele and another for Ms. Miles.”
