The entire table laughed. Jackie simply shook her head.
“Look,” Jackie sighed. “We’ve just been keeping it cordial. That’s all. I have clients to deal with. Including his son, who is coming off suspension and needs my support.”
Since PJ’s arrest, Jackie hadn’t been alone with Antonio in several weeks. They spoke to each other mostly during meetings—and in very limited, very professional texts and emails. Jackie even managed to avoid Antonio during the entirety of All-Star Weekend. When the press was going crazy, asking Antonio or PJ questions about their father-son relationship, they had both handled it with humor and grace. It seemed like the supposed drama was water under the bridge. Since Jackie and Antonio hadn’t been seen together, the press stopped insinuating that they were a couple. But the gossip-hungry media hadn’t given up hope that things would turn around.
“Wow,” Tanika didn’t seem to believe what she was hearing. “I never thought I’d see the day when Jackie Miles was running from a challenging situation. I thought boss chicks were never scared?”
“I’M NOT RUNNING!” Jackie yelled. She took a breath and lowered her voice. “And I’m not scared. It’s self-preservation.”
Bronwyn sucked her teeth. “Jackie, we know you want to protect yourself with these avoidance tactics. But you cannot avoid someone who is meant to be with you. The universe isn’t going to allow it anyway. When was the last time you had apersonalconversation with Antonio that didn’t involve his son?”
“I spoke to him extensively at our company holiday party. I gave him an early Christmas gift slash birthday present, a signed copy of an S.A. Cosby book that he was looking forward to reading. And he told me thank you, and that he really appreciated it,” Jackie said.
What Jackie didn’t tell her girls was that she’d stood in line for two hours to get that book signed. She’d gotten up early, in the freezing cold on a Sunday morning—so unlike her. The smile on Antonio’s face when he saw the personalized signature page made it absolutely worth it. She loved that smile, even though she knew she probably didn’t deserve it.
“Girl, it’s February! Christmas was, like, two months ago,” Tanika said.
“Did he get you anything?” Mya asked. “You know, like some appreciative dick.”
“You must be an incredible assistant, Mya, because otherwise I don’t understand why Tanika keeps you around,” Jackie snapped. “And the answer is no, girl. Sleeping with Antonio just…makes me lose all my senses. I need a clear head. I mean, I don’t need sex all the time, you know.”
Tanika and Bronwyn exchanged a look that said,Girl, lie to someone else, not us.
Mya shook her head. “I don’t see how you can go months without wanting to get with that man. The man is fine. Tall, dark. Thick like a sturdy oak. And I’d be climbing that tree every chance I could.”
Jackie didn’t want to be reminded of the sex she was not having with Antonio. Even in their cordial purgatory, there were the lingering stares across the boardroom table, playful banter after a meeting, and subtle, “accidental” touches that occurred when no one was looking. The heat was still there. Embers were still smoldering. But they were trying their best not to reignite anything. Or at least,Jackiewas trying.
“Mya, girl, why are you always so horny?” Tanika snickered, jolting Jackie back to the present.
Mya rolled her eyes, a wicked smirk on her face. “Unlike you, ladies, I’m not in perimenopause yet. My sex drive is on twelve. I get it in.”
“Well, that was shade,” Bronwyn said. “You don’t know our lives. We are in our prime.”
“Well, you, Bronwyn, may be the exception,” Mya said. “You’ve got a soccer team over there. Plus, we’ve all seen what Kenny is working with.”
“Mostly against our will,” Tanika groaned, referencing Kenny’s tendency to be naked as a jaybird, even with company.
Bronwyn laughed. “Very true. Kenny is blessed.” Her laughter stopped when she looked at Jackie. “Jackie? You okay?” She reached out for her hand.
Jackie shook her head. “I’ve been in love once, and it almost cost me my career. I’m inching closer to fifty, and I’m starting to think there is always going to be something in the way of being in love. Some kind of complication.”
“Are you saying you’re in love with Antonio?” asked Bronwyn. “Be honest, Jackie.”
Jackie took a deep breath, a familiar ache in her throat. She thought of Mother Mary and spoke truthfully. “I feel something different. Something I haven’t felt with anyone before. Is that love? I don’t know. And I don’t know if it’s worth the risk.”
“Love is always worth the risk,” Tanika said with a smile. “Trust me.”
“Worth risking my career? Patrick at the firm not-so-subtly reminded me that drama follows me. He basically insinuated that I was harmful to the firm. Antonio and I have both worked too hard for our careers to go up in flames because we can’t resist each other.”
“Gideon told me that he suggested you start your own firm,” Tanika said. “We’ve been telling you to do this for years.”
“I really hate the fact that I can’t have a conversation in confidence with either one of you anymore,” Jackie said. “And I know you sent him to spy on me at the dog park.”
Tanika shrugged. “I wasn’t gonna leave him in the dark. It kinda comes with the marriage thing. No secrets between spouses.” She gently squeezed Jackie’s other hand. “Jackie, you don’t need AMW-Elite to be a great agent. If anything,theyneedyou. I think Patrick is afraid you’ll walk. He was trying some reverse psychology or something.”
Jackie scratched her head. “Maybe. Iamthe top-producing agent. Antonio is second.”
“Well,” Tanika continued. “I say you do it. Take your clients, start your own firm, and do your own thing!”
