I immediately stood from the chair and gaped at him. “I’m sorry, did you saymom?”
He glanced over his shoulder toward the door with a dark furrow to his brow. “We’re not talking about this,” he muttered and began walking away.
I hurried after him, a smile stretching my face. “Oh, but we definitely are! The director is yourmom?!”
In the quickest motion I’d ever seen him make, he gripped my arm and yanked me toward the door at the end of the hall. He pushed our way through it, and before I had time to react, he had me up against the wall in a drafty stairwell with bare pipes and concrete floors. He leaned in so close, his nose almost touched mine.
“Yes, okay? The director is my mother, and she’s a little overprotective. See this?” He spoke through tight lips and pointed at the scar on his jaw, the only imperfection on his otherwise handsome face, which was inches from mine. “Well, it has a pair of siblings that didn’t miss,” he said. He yanked his T-shirt’s collar aside and exposed the star-shaped scars I’d seen the night before while he slept. His eyes searched mine for understanding, and I was too shocked to do anything but stare back. “I spent eighteen hours in surgery, ten weeks in physical rehab, and then six months at a desk. Ever since I’ve been backin the field, she’s got me working mommy crimes over in Del Rio. I’m doing the best with what I’ve got, and I would appreciate it if you would cut me some fucking slack.”
The air between us crackled. I was holding my breath.
Bray exhaled and let go of me. He hung his head and leaned a hand against the wall. “I’m sorry.”
I was at a loss, reeling, and wanting to take back everything bad I’d said about him. The scar on his jaw was from a third bullet, which had nearly hit him in the face. My knees went weak at the thought. “I saw your scars last night,” I managed, unsure why I chose that as my response. “When you were sleeping. What happened?” My words came out in fragments as I tried to recover.
Bray let go of a long breath. He spoke to the stairs beside us instead of facing me. I watched the scar on his jaw move with every word. “Child abduction case. The abductors didn’t want to hand him over. The kid lived. I almost didn’t.”
He’d saved a kid?God, I felt terrible for every quip.
“I’ve been so unfair to you. I’m sorry.”
He shook his head and met my gaze. “No, you’re right. I’ve made mistakes. This is just my first case since then and it’s taking me a while to get back in the swing of things. And my mom—” He cut himself off and closed his eyes to take a breath. “The director seems to have lost a little faith in my abilities too, so it’s been a rough ride.” He sighed and sat down on the top step of the nearest flight.
I was tempted to reach out and touch him. To somehow encourage him and apologize for how I’d treated him when he was doing his best. But I thought it best to keep my hands to myself.
I crossed the small landing and sat beside him. “Is that why your security clearance was revoked?”
He snorted. “Yeah. She used agency bureaucracy to keep mesafein her eyes.” He made air quotes around the word withhis fingers. “I guess she thought me knowing anything about your past would have been too stressful. ‘Low stress cases only, Cal,’” he said, mimicking her voice.
“Damn. She pulled your clearance because she thought information might give you an ulcer?”
“Something like that. Little did she knowyou’dbe the most stressful thing I’ve encountered in months.”
I scoffed in offense, but it melted into a smile. “I won’t apologize. But I do have a question. Why didn’t you tell her my cover is blown with the moms? I can’t go back to Del Rio anyway.”
“Because I don’t want her to know I blew it. She’ll never trust me with another case again.” The defeated ache in his voice stopped me from questioning if that was a wise decision.
“So, then, what are we going to do? I can’t go back there with Melanieandthe ghost out to get me.”
He sighed. “I’ll think of something, don’t worry.”
I honestly didn’t know what the options were, given our restraints. “Thanks for trying with your mom—I mean, the director, at least,” I offered.
He tugged at his pant leg and huffed. “Sure. Unfortunately, she can tell me what to do both because she’s my momandmy superior officer.”
I snorted. “I get that. I’ve been told what to do for the past ten years. ‘Go here, be this person, say this, do that,’” I said, mimicking Wallace. “I think Wallace got off on it, honestly. Being bossed around is all I’ve ever known. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wished I could just … take matters into my own hands.”
Bray looked at me with a knowing honesty in his eyes. “Probably as many times as I have,” he said with a soft smile.
We gazed at each other, connected in our desire to have control over our own lives but also treading water in the depths of being unable to.
“At least you’ve seen some action,” he said, breaking thespell. “Well, before Del Rio, I mean. My mom put me on this case because it’s minimal risk.”
“Ha. Tell that to the terrified look on Melanie’s face when I saidMontroseearlier.”
He half shrugged, like it was something to consider. “After what happened,” Bray went on, “she just wants me to be safe.”
I thought about how Del Rio stacked up against other cases I’d been on. Despite what I now knew about the moms, I had to agree with its smiling neighbors, playdates, and snack times, it was, by far, the friendliest case I’d ever worked. Even though I wasn’t one myself, I couldn’t blame a mother for wanting to protect her child, even if he was a grown man. I had so few people protecting me in my life, I wondered what it might feel like—
