With that, Sam leaned in and kissed her on the mouth.
Fitz’s whole body reacted to that tender and fleeting meeting of their lips. She gasped at the ferocity of the feeling. She certainly had never experienced anything like that before. And judging by Sam’s sharp intake of breath, it was new for him, too.
This time she didn’t wait for him to initiate the kiss. And when he kissed her back, she couldn’t help let out a small moan of pleasure.
The sound of the barman giving an exaggerated cough had them pulling apart. Fitz and Sam giggled like naughty teenagers being caught out. She didn’t care. If just his kiss could do that to her, then heavens knows what she’d be like if anything else happened.
‘Next time you’re here, I’m taking you out on the Brough.’
‘I’ll hold you to that,’ said Fitz.
Chapter 9
September 1941
Over the coming weeks, Fitz found herself calling into RAF Tangmere far more than she ever had before. She wondered whether that was by design or coincidence. Surely the ferry coordinator wouldn’t be sending her to Tangmere on purpose, or would she? Either way, Fitz didn’t mind, it meant she got to see Sam on a regular basis. Of course, he wasn’t always there. His job did involve a lot of sitting around at times, waiting to be scrambled. Being on the south coast the airbase was something of major importance. The previous year, Tangmere had played a vital role in defending Britain against the attacks from the German air force. Sam had been involved in all those battles and although they had lessened, he was often out on regular patrols of the south coast.
A few times by sheer good fortune, Sam’s days off had coincided with Fitz’s down time, and he had indeed kept his promise that he’d take her out on his motorbike, promptly turning up at the house where she was billeted on his bike and whisking her out for the day.
It had been heavenly. Fitz had climbed on the back and slipped her arms around Sam’s waist. He had squeezed her hand and then patted her thigh. ‘Hold on tight!’ he called revving the engine before releasing the throttle and tearing off down the road.
Fitz had laughed in delight all the way. The feeling of the air rushing over her head and across her face wasn’t unlike being upin the sky. She loved holding tighter than necessary to Sam, her thighs squeezing against his. If she couldn’t be in an aeroplane then being on a motorbike with Sam was the very next best thing.
That night, Sam had booked them into a hotel and they’d slept together. Sex with Sam had been tender and beautiful. Fitz had never experienced such a depth of emotion, positive emotion, before. It was immense and overwhelming. And it was terrifying.
Because much as she wanted to love Sam, Fitz also didn’t want to. Her heart beat fast in her chest as something akin to panic surged through her.
She wasn’t supposed to be falling in love with him. She was just supposed to be living life and having as much fun as she could, while she could. Sam was only meant to be fun but Fitz was fully aware she was on the brink of their relationship transitioning into something far more serious.
As she lay in Sam’s arms, a tear tracked its way down her face and onto his chest.
‘Hey, hey,’ said Sam, moving his arm and turning on to his side so he could see her. He gently hooked her chin with his finger, tilting her head slightly so he could see her face.
Fitz brushed away the tears but couldn’t stop more swiftly following. ‘Ignore me,’ she said. ‘I’m being silly.’
‘You, silly? Never,’ said Sam. He stroked away another tear with his thumb. ‘You gonna tell me what’s wrong or do I have to work it out myself? Which I will, but it might be easier all round if you just talk to me.’
Fitz took a breath. ‘I’m scared,’ she said at last.
‘Of what?’
‘Of what’s happening between us. It’s all going rather fast.’ There. She’d managed to order her thoughts into a coherent sentence or two.
‘But I thought you liked speed.’ He gave a small smile and she knew he was trying to put her at ease with humour, but there was also concern in his eyes and she hated being responsible for that.
‘You know what I mean,’ said Fitz.
He held her gaze and the smile slipped away. Outright sorrow took its place. ‘Sadly, I do know what you mean, Fitz,’ he said softly, trailing his forefinger across her damp cheekbone. ‘And what’s even more sad, is I know why you mean it.’
‘Don’t say anything … please,’ whispered Fitz. She didn’t want to break what they had at this point. Any declaration of love would irreversibly change their status quo. Things would be different and she didn’t know if she could cope with that change.
‘Don’t hit the brakes, baby,’ said Sam. ‘Not yet. Stay with me. Trust me.’
Fitz nodded, gulping back another surge of tears that were welling up. She blinked them away. She mustn’t let the moment get to her. She took a deep breath to steady herself and closed her eyes for a couple of seconds.
When she opened her eyes, Sam was still looking at her. Gosh, she couldn’t cope with that. She sat up, flinging the covers back and then grappling for her dress which she slipped over her head. ‘Just need the bathroom,’ she said. She glanced back at Sam who was watching her from his position on the bed, propped up on one elbow.
‘Fitz …’ he began.
