‘Eighteen months is quite a long time. You didn’t ever think about moving in together?’
‘Not really. I couldn’t leave my mum. I’d feel too guilty.’ As she spoke, yesterday’s conversation with Matt in the square popped into her mind. Maybe she should re-evaluate the notion that she was indispensable. Not right now, but when she had a bit more time. She looked across at Matt. ‘So, do I get to ask you about your love life now?’
‘Sure. Fire away.’
Darcie wasn’t sure if Matt was as enthusiastic as he was trying to make out, but she appreciated the effort. ‘OK. Have you ever been in a serious relationship? Who with? How long? Why did it end?’
‘That’s a lot of questions, but here goes. I’ve had two serious relationships. The most recent, was Emma. Back home. I wanted to go travelling and do this supporting myself thing; she didn’t. She wanted to stay in her comfort zone. She gave me an ultimatum. Her or Paris.’
‘Do you regret your choice?’
‘Not at all. We were convenient for each other but we were very different in a lot of ways as it turned out.’ Matt manoeuvred the car onto the main road. ‘Anyway, she’s engaged now. Getting married to some Harvard graduate and getting a house in Maine or the Hamptons or somewhere like that.’
‘I don’t know much about the US, but I do know that’s where a lot of money is,’ said Darcie. ‘Do you think you’ll go back to America, to live, eventually?’
Matt was thoughtful for a while and Darcie wasn’t sure if he was going to speak, but she sat the silence out and eventually it paid off when Matt answered her. ‘I’m not sure. I miss my family, but I can always go back and visit or they can come out here. I don’t miss the lifestyle though. I like Europe; it feels right for me.’
‘And you’ll always stay in Paris?’
‘For now, but I’d like to go to some other countries.’
‘You’re lucky you can do that.’ Darcie looked back out of the window, hoping she didn’t sound too spiky.
‘I know, but there is a trade-off,’ said Matt.
‘What’s that?’
‘It can get kinda lonely. Sure, I have made friends here, but they’ve always felt transient.’
‘Like me, you mean.’ She said the words she had meant to keep to herself.
‘I’ll be honest, I wish we could have more time together,’ said Matt. ‘You’ll note I used the past tense when I said they’ve always felt transient. That’s because up until I met you, that was true.’
Darcie looked down at her hands. This was no time to be shy and lack confidence. ‘I feel the same but in a week’s time, or just over, I’ll be back in West Sussex, looking after my mum and sister while running a business. That’s my reality. Being here with you in France, that’s my dream, my make-believe.’
Matt reached for her hand and they drove in silence for the rest of the journey. What was there to say? It was true. Darcie couldn’t pretend it was anything other than that. Much as she’d like to think Matt was going to sweep her off her feet and they were going to travel Europe together, the fact remained she had responsibilities and he didn’t. They were worlds apart. He hadn’t argued the point either or tried to make some childish promise that they could have it all. He knew the score. It was something of a sad acceptance they both understood.
Twenty minutes later and they were pulling up outside Odile’s care home, parking next to Elaine’s car.
‘She must have gone in ahead of us,’ said Darcie.
They were let in by the nurse who’d seen them yesterday and were just signing in the visitors’ book when Elaine appeared in the hallway.
‘Oh, I am glad I have seen you. I’m very sorry but you can’t see Odile.’
Darcie exchanged a confused look with Matt. She turned back to Elaine. ‘Is everything all right with Odile?’ God, she hoped the older woman was OK and hadn’t taken ill or been disturbed by their visit the day before.
‘Odile is fine but she can’t speak to you anymore.’
‘I’m so sorry if we’ve upset her in any way,’ began Darcie.
‘It’s not you,’ said Elaine.
‘What’s happened?’ asked Matt.
‘Look, I can’t tell you, but circumstances have changed since yesterday, since I spoke to you earlier in fact, and Odile doesn’t want to talk with you.’
‘Doesn’t want to or has been told not to?’ It was Matt again.
