In just a few hours, Valoria and Danial will have finalized their battle plan. Danial wasn’t in a state to do much of anything last time I saw him, but that was five days ago, and he doesn’t have a choice. He’ll have to manage somehow. Just like I’ll soon have to go join the volunteer army making its way toward the palace grounds by sunset.
As I turn a corner on my way to my room, wanting to pick up a few things before going to check on Karston, a familiar voice stops me.
“Odessa,” Meredy calls as she hurries toward me, holding something in her cupped hands. Lysander follows her, lagging slightly behind. “Do you have a moment?”
For her? Always. Especially now that we’re talking again, almost like old times, even if it’s mostly about the dangers we’re facing. ButI don’t say any of that. Instead, I tell her what I just learned in the throne room. That we’re going to war with the Ezorans. Tonight.
“This is a lot to take in,” Meredy says after a moment, tightening her hands around whatever she’s clutching. “Do you mind if I—?”
Before she can finish, I open the door for her and usher her into the room we used to share. Lysander, upon peering inside and realizing Nipper isn’t with me, grumbles his displeasure as he settles down in the hallway to wait for his master.
Meredy sits on the rug near the hearth, which I haven’t used to build a fire since before we broke up, and takes a deep breath. Finally, as I settle myself across from her, she opens her hands to reveal what she’s brought. “I thought you should see this,” she says quietly as I stare at the glittering blue powder in her cupped hands.
The crystal.
She’s holding proof that she fought a hard battle and finally returned to herself.
At first, it’s hard to form words. “When—?”
“The day after you played the recording for me,” she says swiftly, dropping her gaze to the powder. “I couldn’t sleep that night, thinking I was going mad. I was scared, I was angry at the crystal—more at myself, though—and then after I destroyed the damned thing, I was embarrassed at just how right you were. I hurt you because of a stupid magic trick. I hurt the person I care about most in this life.” Tears gather in her eyes as she continues, “I could barely look at you, let alone speak to you after that.”
“You could’ve told me—” I begin, even as my throat tightens.
“After the way I betrayed you? After lying to you and hurting you all that time, you think I should have burdened you with more of my problems?” Meredy demands, shaking her head.
“Always,” I say firmly. “You can always come to me.” I wonderedbefore if I could ever trust her again after the way she lied, but she never had any problem trusting me after working through my potion cravings. She deserves another chance, just like the one she gave me.
“No. I had to work through this alone,” Meredy insists, biting down on her lower lip to keep it from trembling. A moment later, she adds, “I had to clear my head—something I’ve had plenty of time for in the healer’s wing. I had to make sure I could take care of myself, without the crystal, before I even thought about being with someone else again. Not that I expect you to take me back,” she says quickly. “That’s not why I’m here. I came to say I’m so sorry.”
She leans forward and tosses the blue powder into the hearth and dusts off her palms. “There. Now you have a little extra something to burn the next time you want a fire.”
As I tear my gaze away from the glittering fragments of a lie now coating the hearth, I say softly, “I’m sorry, too, by the way. For eavesdropping. I know it was wrong, but what else could I do? I didn’t want you to lose your mind, and I didn’t want to loseyou. Though I did anyway,” I continue, my voice breaking. “I hate being apart from you. I hate it because there’s so much we haven’t done together yet. I hate it because I love you so much it hurts, Meredy.”
Watching her tears fall harder creates a lump in my throat too painful to swallow around.
She reaches out, inviting me into an embrace, but I hesitate. She hurt me. Betrayed me. She’s sorry, and she’s better now, but there are so manywhat ifs that scare me. So many other ways she could break my heart all over again. Still, she keeps her arms open, beckoning. “Thank you,” she whispers. “For saving me again.”
I shake my head. “You did that on your own. You destroyed the crystal.”
She gives me a shaky smile. “Just so you know, despite thinkingI was talking to her, I still fell in love with you. The crystal made me confused, made me say things I didn’t mean. The truth is, Idolove you—only you, Dessa. I’ve loved you for a while now.”
“That night at the wedding—?” I ask, remembering what she whispered to me there.
“I knew who I was talking to,” Meredy says swiftly. “I knew who was holding me. I said I loved you then, and I meant it. I love you now. I’ll love you every day for the rest of my life. I know I don’t deserve you after all the damage I’ve done, but I’d like the chance to become someone who does.”
Finally, I sink into her embrace.
“You make it sound like I’m perfect,” I murmur against her ear. “Before you decide who you want to be with, I should remind you that I’m petty, I’m reckless, and don’t forgetselfish—”
“And beautiful, and impossible,” Meredy adds, now smiling slightly through her tears. “And I love every inch of you.” There’s a hitch in her voice as she draws back farther to meet my eyes. “I know you’ll always have your memories of Evander, like I’ll always have mine of Firiel—and I’d like to share them, if you’re willing. I’d like to build a future with you. I want that more than anything. If you’ll be my girlfriend again...?”
“Of course I will,” I promise against her lips.
“You’re willing to trust me again, after... everything?”
“With my life.”
The girl with the scarred cheek and wine-red hair who’s kissing my neck, turning my thoughts into a warm, blissful nothing, is everything to me now. She has been for a while, and this—this is what I missed and was afraid I’d lost forever. This closeness with her. How she challenges me to be a better friend, a better necromancer—a better person.
