“That’s what Father fell in love with.” Meredy smiles. “All the potential in discovering a new place.” She leans a little closer, her eyes inviting me to share in some secret. “I didn’t tell Kasmira this, because I might be wrong, but... I think Father sailed even farther west than we are now, once. Of course, I could be getting my directions mixed up... and Father could’ve been drinking, or distracted, or completely mistaken in some other way...”
She’s so hesitant that I smile, urging her to go on.
“He wrote about a vast land and a beast we don’t have in Karthia, something like a lizard but the size of a dog, with talons. And it couldbreathe frost, or fire—I’m not really sure what this word is, it’s too smudged...” Meredy trails off, biting her lower lip as if to keep from laughing at herself.
I grin back. “After everything that’s happened lately, a new kind of beast sounds completely possible. Normal, even. For all we know, a giant lizard will crawl out of the sea tomorrow and eat us for breakfast.”
A sharp crack sounds from overhead, harsh enough to make me wince.
The keening of the wind grows louder as it whips around the ship, seemingly from all directions. Still, it’s not quite strong enough to mask the sound of someone shouting, or the current of alarm in their voice. I just wish I could make out their words.
The ship leans so violently to the right that it throws Meredy and me into the wall. Without thinking, I put my arm around her back to shield her. She clings to me, jumping into my lap as we’re tossed about. A song courses through my blood as I hold her, pressing my face into her long, soft hair and breathing deeply.
The world is cruel, and it’s sharpened my edges. But somehow, after everything I’ve witnessed and every hard thing I’ve done, it’s still so easy to be gentle with her.
My hands shake as I run my fingers through her hair and pull her in for a kiss, but before our lips touch, shutters snap closed behind her eyes.
She turns away, sliding off my lap and out of my arms. “Ooh, it’s cold in here,” she declares with a small shiver, “but it’ll be worse on the deck, and we need to check on Kasmira right away.” She pulls on her boots and begins searching for her cloak. It’s not on the peg where she usually leaves it.
“Here, take mine.” My voice sounds like a stranger’s, full of falsewarmth as I hand her my cloak. “I don’t mind the cold so much.” I try to search her gaze as I hold out the cloak. If she’d just tell me what she’s thinking, maybe I wouldn’t say or do the wrong things.
Meredy gently pushes my offering away. “I’ll be fine without it, thanks.” When I shoot her a questioning look, her cheeks redden. “It smells like you, Odessa, and I can never focus when I’m thinking of you!”
Well, she finally used my name.
Silence steals over the cabin, the ship’s new, horrible noises filling the space between us.
At last, Meredy murmurs darkly, “You always do this. Rattle me. Push me too far. Make me say things I regret.” Her hands clench at her sides. “Are you satisfied?”
For the first time since the waves jarred me awake, a bout of stomach-rolling seasickness creeps over me. “I’m not, actually. I’m not satisfied at all. I don’t understand—what is it you want?”
Meredy presses her fingers to her lips and shakes her head. “We don’t have time for this,” she says in a small voice. To my dismay, she’s put a familiar shield over her face. It’s the one she used to wear around me, the one that makes it impossible to get a hint of her thoughts.
“You’re right. Things sound bad out there. That crash—”
I pause, my heart beating double as more raised voices punch the air. “Moving a storm is a serious job, even for a skilled weather worker like Kasmira, and I’m sure that’s what she’s trying to do.” I cross the few steps to the door, swaying as the ship tips left again. “I think you should try to find a healer—look for Dvora,” I add, naming the first hazel-eyed person on board who comes to mind.
Still Meredy won’t meet my gaze, though she nods stiffly in agreement with my plan.
For some reason, I want to put my fist through the ship’s hull.Well, maybe not that. But I’d dearly like to hit something that can’t spring a leak.
“Look, I get it.” I throw open the door, having pulled on my cloak and boots to cover my nightdress. “You don’t like me like that, but at some point, you’re going to have to speak to me again. I’m sorry,Master Crowther.”
Meredy lifts her head and turns toward me, but doesn’t raise her eyes.
The air in the narrow room is getting much too thin to share.
“Be safe out there. Please.” Her voice follows me as I head into the hallway, and I don’t have to glance back to know she’s making a final, frantic search for something to guard against the lashing rain before following me up the stairs.
I shake my head, more confused by her than ever. She knows me well enough to realize I have a habit of running toward danger, not away from it. And I know her well enough to detect the note of longing in her words, moments after she pushed me away.
I have a sure and sudden feeling that girl is going to be the death of me.
III
In my haste to leave the cabin, I nearly trip over Lysander. The grizzly bear fills the hallway even when he’s stretched out on his belly. His amber eyes are alert, his breathing heavy, like he’s just as unnerved by the storm as I am. “Don’t look so worried,” I murmur, patting his neck. “At least you can swim, big man.”
Above deck, the wind howls like a restless Shade, distorting the sounds of the crew calling to one another. I blink rain from my eyes as fast as I can, but searching for Kasmira like this is going to take a while.
