That night, after patrolling two cemeteries and chasing away a fleet-footed shadow from a Deadlands gate, I try and fail to fall asleep without Meredy beside me for the first time in days. It makes sense that Meredy would return home to Crowther Manor, the huge house in Noble Park that her older sister inherited, to spend some time catching up with Elibeth. I’ve always liked the eldest Crowther sibling, another beast master, and the pack of tall, skinny greyhounds that follows her everywhere. I certainly shouldn’t envy her, not after I spent most of my day with Simeon, yet I wish Meredy were here with me instead.
As I push back the blankets on the large bed, Nipper hisses a puff of smoke, startling awake. She uncurls herself from her spot on top of my feet, wagging her tail and looking at me expectantly like she’s ready for an adventure.
“Don’t get your hopes up,” I tell her. It’s nice having someone to talk to when the world is silent and still, even if the dragon can’t answer. “I just figured we might as well unpack.”
The wood floor is cold against my bare feet as I climb out of the four-poster canopy bed that used to belong to one of Valoria’s Dead aunts. I chose her room, close to the bustle and warmth of the kitchens, instead of my old one because it more comfortably fits two. That, and going back to my old room felt wrong somehow. When I stepped inside, nothing was quite as I remembered it, or quite so welcoming despite someone having spruced it up, like I was trying to fit myself into a space meant for some other girl.
After lighting the lantern on my bedside table, I sweep across the room to the wardrobe. My lone bag sits beside it, waiting. I pull out rumpled tunics and trousers and the one dress I kept from my days of near-constant parties at the palace. As I sort things into piles, I wonder if Valoria has kept up her Eldest Grandfather’s tradition of celebrating every single festival on the Karthian calendar, resulting in three or four parties a week.
Finally, after unpacking and eating some of my coffee beans, there’s only one leather-wrapped parcel left at the bottom of my otherwise empty bag.
The crystal. The one that let me talk to Evander. With a stab of guilt, I realize I haven’t even thought about it since before we stepped off the ship. How could it be that I feel closer to Evander when I’m remembering him with Meredy than I did when the crystal allowed his voice to surround me?
Perhaps it was the way the crystal burned my hands, which made me wonder if I could trust it. Or perhaps it’s that I know Evander, and if I was suddenly talking to him—actually connecting with his spirit—doubt wouldn’t linger in me. The crystal brought back the pain of missing him, of that much I’m sure. But even if it’s nothing more than a clever bit of magic, I really want to hear his voice again.
I should probably wait until Meredy is with me, though. I know it’s going to hurt, but this feels like something we should do together.
The bedroom door creaks open. Nipper barks once, not a warning but a greeting, and I have a feeling I know who’s on the other side before she enters.
The half-wrapped crystal falls from my hands in my haste to welcome Meredy in the best way I know how. Lysander follows her into the room, and for a moment, all I can do is smile against her lips. That is, until I draw back from the heat of our long kiss to take a breath and get a look at the trouble lurking behind her eyes.
“I thought you were staying with Elibeth tonight,” I say as I sink onto the edge of the bed and try to focus on reading Meredy’s expression. One kiss from her is enough to make my body want something more, but now isn’t the time.
“I changed my mind. I love my sister, but her snoring is worse than Lysander’s, it was hard to sleep without you, and the manor holds too many memories for me to want to be there long. Besides, I couldn’t stop thinking about my...” Meredy’s voice fades. She frowns as she moves closer, studying my face. “It seems I’m not the only one who’s upset. Tell me what’s bothering you.”
“Nothing,” I say, wanting to solve her problem first. But she levels a look at me that makes me want to spill all my secrets, and it’s clear she won’t talk until I do. “Fine. Since we came back, very few things feel right about this place anymore.” When she sits beside me, I hook my fingers around her waist and pull her against me, kissing along her cheek until I reach her mouth. I smile as she bites her lip, her breath stilling. “You’re one of them, though.”
“Dessa,” she murmurs—a new nickname I don’t mind, because itcame from her. “Nice try, but you won’t distract me. Talk to me.” She draws back slightly, moving across the bed out of kissing distance, and gives me a serious look.
“All right,” I sigh. “It hurts to watch Valoria limping around the palace, I feel rotten that I wasn’t there to protect her, and Simeon wasn’t sure whether I’d stick around to see him and Danial get married. Oh, and I hate Valoria’s replacement friends.” I pause as Meredy’s lips quirk in mild amusement and frown at her. “I’m serious. Valoria said there are a lot of people out for blood—what makes her so sure she can trust those two?”
Meredy takes my hand, rubbing her thumb across my palm. “Don’t you trust Valoria?”
My frown deepens. “Of course.”
“Then you have to trust her judgment about others, too.”
“I guess. But if I’m right and they’re secretly trying to overthrow her?”
Meredy takes a long moment to answer. “Valoria will survive whatever comes her way next. We all will.”
“What makes you so sure?”
“Because we’ve got you.” She squeezes my hand, but far from feeling reassured, I ache with a sudden emptiness, wishing I had half the confidence in me that she does.
Resting my head on her shoulder, I tell her about my potential partner in necromancy, Karston, as the lantern on the bedside table sputters and dies. Meredy reassures me that I’m not going to get that violet-eyed boy killed if I ever bring him to the Deadlands, untested as he is, and that Evander wouldn’t resent me for entertaining the idea of a new partner.
“Now it’s your turn. What’s bothering you?” I ask quietly. Nipperand Lysander are curled up back-to-back on the other side of the room, softly snoring, and I don’t want to wake them.
Meredy doesn’t answer, but she pulls me closer. Her touch wakes me like nothing else, so even though it’s late, I’m not tired in the slightest.
As we hold each other, the world grows a lot smaller. A lot safer.
“Lyda. I went to see her today,” she says at last, dropping her gaze. “So, go ahead and tell me why it’s a stupid, horrible decision, like Elibeth did.”
I gently touch below her chin, lifting her head and returning her eyes to mine. “I’m not here to judge you. I’m here to listen. I’m here to punch people for you when you don’t have the strength. I’m here to help you with whatever you need to figure out, but only if you want me to.” Lacing my fingers through hers, I murmur, “I’m here to help you get what you want, because I like it when you smile.”
Her eyes well up again before I’ve finished speaking. Not long ago, she never would have let me see her like this. Unguarded. I wonder if she knows she looks even more beautiful this way, with all her emotions written across her face.
