“Of course,” Meredy says at once. “But we just barely survived one battle... I don’t think we’re ready to start another. Besides, maybe the Dead here are happy. We haven’t exactly asked them.”
“I guess you’re right.” But that doesn’t stop me wondering whether any semblance of equality here is an illusion, even though Karthia’s new stance on the Dead keeps them so far removed from the living that they can’t even enter our kingdom anymore. Of course,they have their own world where they can thrive. I’d just love to ask a Sarralan necromancer why they bother bringing the Dead back at all when they don’t seem to really want them around.
The first firework soars into the air, startling me with a high-pitched whine. It explodes in a shower of red and gold sparks that loosely form the shape of a flower.
Meredy leans forward as she admires the sight, pulling out a small silver flask from the bag she brought and handing it to me. “No questions,” she whispers, offering it to me. “Just drink this.”
I tip the flask against my lips. The liquid inside tastes just like coffee beans, and I close my eyes as it lingers on my tongue.
“I saw someone in the city drinking this earlier and thought you’d like to try it,” Meredy says, sounding pleased by my reaction. Suddenly, I have the urge to say all the things I’ve been holding back since we danced last night.
“Meredy, I...” My heart clamors in my ears as she leans closer to hear above the noise of a second firework shooting skyward.
She studies me as I hesitate. Tucking a thick strand of hair behind my ear, she grazes my cheek with her fingertips, and just like that I’m stunned into silence.
“If you’re trying to thank me, don’t worry about it. I’m the one who should be thanking you,” she says firmly. “You keep saving my life, you try to do all the characters’ voices when we’re reading, just for me, and now you’ve shown me that dancing isn’t so bad. I’m beginning to think I’ll be forever in your debt.” She flashes a smile, and while I know she’s joking, I can’t return the gesture.
Despite my mouth being dry as bone, I somehow get my tongue working. “Don’t worry. I’m not keeping score.” Deep breaths. “Meredy, I like you. I don’t even thinklikebegins to cover it, but that’s what I want to find out.”
This time, I smile, but her face is a blank canvas until splashes of blue, green, and gold wash over it from the fireworks. My smile fades, but my pride must be as broken as the rest of me, because I still continue, “I want you to know, I’m done fighting it—whatever this is between us. Ever since we lost Evander, everything I do feels like a battle. Getting up in the morning. Eating toast. Talking to people. But when I’m with you, I don’t have to wear my armor. Being around you is easy, and it makes me want so much more. Will you be my girlfriend?”
She says nothing. Her eyes shine unnaturally bright as the moon peeks out from behind the clouds.
“You don’t have to answer right now,” I add quickly, feeling sick and slightly shaky since the words have left my mouth. Maybe I asked her too soon. “I won’t wait forever—I don’thaveforever—but I’m willing to wait an unreasonably long time when it comes to you.”
Meredy turns away from the fireworks as bursts of color form the shape of a dragon. Now that her face is half in shadow, it’s unreadable. The way she likes.
“Say something, please. Just let me know you heard me,” I urge her quietly, unnerved by her silence. “After last night, you can’t pretend you haven’t thought about us—”
“Aren’t they something?” Azelie interrupts, leaning toward our blanket and gesturing skyward, seemingly oblivious to what’s taking place beside her. In a way, I welcome the interruption. I’m able to smooth my face into a mask of not caring.
“So here’s the deal,” Azelie continues. “I have to go to Skria Flor—the capital—in a few days for a special flower they don’t sell at the markets here. I always get a better price when I go in person, so the healers send me every few moons, but given recent events...” Her grimace leaves no doubt as to what she means: the attack on Sarral’sborder. “The boss is insisting I take someone with me. Do you two want to come? It’d be a good way to see more of the countryside... and I could use someone to talk to on the road,” she admits with a grin. “I promise, no matter what the boss says, I can rescue myself if there’s trouble.”
I shake my head, trying to catch Meredy’s eye, but it’s not working. “Thanks, but I’m not in the mood for a trip.”
“You should go,” Meredy says suddenly, without looking at me. “I’ll mind Nipper for you. There are some things I want to do here. Kasmira said the repairs are going to take several days yet, so you’ve got time.”
I turn away from her, suddenly finding it hard to breathe. I thought I could be myself with her, but not wearing my armor only got me hurt again. Faking a smile as fireworks flash and sizzle overhead, I say, “Sure. It’ll be... fun.”
Azelie whoops with delight, shifting over to our blanket and linking her arm through mine. “We’ll have the best time,” she promises. Something in her voice makes me think she overheard more than she initially let on, and I feel a rush of gratitude for the perpetually cheerful healer’s assistant. I need a little more happiness in my life.
Besides, should there be trouble of any sort, I can protect Azelie with my blades—a small step toward repaying her and her uncles for my dragon companion. But it would be a start.
With Meredy not willing to meet my eyes, the thought of going somewhere new with a girl I’ve only just met suddenly sounds wildly appealing.
***
Three days later, as our cart nears the sprawling outskirts of the city of Skria Flor, Nipper—who insisted on coming—strains against theheavy leather collar attached to the lead in my hands. I pull hard on the lead, and Nipper sheepishly settles in my lap. When she cranes her neck up to study me, her eyes flash with different colors, as if concerned by the pain she sees in mine. She nudges my hand until I start petting her cool, scaly back. At least she gives me something to focus on besides Meredy.
Given the way she’s been avoiding me ever since the fireworks show, I’m pretty sure our relationship ended before it even really started. Thanks to her silence and near-constant absence, I’ve been lying in bed alone every night at the boarding house in my tiny room, my hand between my legs as I think of her, trying to feel anything besides empty. I thought seeing the world would heal my mind as quickly as healers’ magic mends a broken bone, but all it’s done—allshe’sdone—is open new wounds and pick at old ones until they’re raw.
Our cart hits a bump so hard it rattles my teeth, forcing my attention back to the road as it forks ahead of us. Instead of taking the wider, flatter path that leads into the city, Azelie steers us onto the narrower, overgrown patharoundit, heading north.
“What are you doing?” I demand, leaning forward to study Azelie’s expression. But while she’s in the driver’s seat, it’s hard to see her face. “What about the market?”
“We’ll head there shortly,” she promises. Her voice sounds different all of a sudden—older, and distant—and it sets me on edge. “This will only take an hour or so.”
“Where are we going?” I touch my free hand to one of the daggers on my belt, seeking its silent reassurance. Or maybe I’m just in the mood for a fight—anything to take my mind off Meredy.
