Yet.
Despite his very real and well-reasoned reservations, Will knew he wouldn’t be able to resist her. Whatever she offered, he wouldtake it. Gladly. Caution be damned. His ever-present responsibilities faded to the background when he was around her, replaced by a recklessness he hadn’t felt in years. Or maybe it was selfishness. Or maybe it was simply the ghost of the man he could have been had the dukedom not fallen onto his shoulders.
Just for a night.
Surely two consenting adults could give in to their mutual attraction for a few hours. What did they possibly have to lose?
His heart beat loudly in objection, but Will brought his hand to her face and caressed her jaw. Phoebe let out the faintest shudder of breath and he pressed his thumb to her full bottom lip. Her reaction filled him with a dangerous kind of primal greed. He wanted more. He wanted it all.
“Will?” she prompted at his silence.
Will’s gaze flickered to her eyes. He had been staring at her mouth.
“You deserve someone who can give you everything. Not just one night,” he insisted in one last attempt at chivalry.
She rolled her eyes. “Well now you’re just being patronizing. Thisiswhat I want.”
A part of him was rather insulted that she didn’t at leastwishfor more from him, even though it was next to impossible. “And a better man would tell you no.”
Her mouth slowly curved in triumph. She knew she had him. “But?”
Will let out a frustrated sigh. “But it turns out I’m a bit of a bastard when it comes to you.”
Phoebe laughed. “Such a silver tongue,” she teased. “Take care, or else I may swoon.”
Will returned her smile but couldn’t manage an equally pithyresponse. For anything he said would likely be far too close to the truth.
Phoebe led Will up the back staircase to her flat. It was very late but she didn’t dare risk bumping into her landlady, who lived on the first floor. Coming home with a man would get her thrown out on the street. She didn’t think Will realized the precarious position she had put herself in, as she was doing an excellent job pretending like her heart wasn’t in her throat. She had propositioned the duke of Ellis, and he hadaccepted. But no, she couldn’t think of him like that. Tonight he was simply Will Margrave, the man who had once been the object of all her desires. And still was, apparently.
“Here we are,” she murmured when they reached her front door.
As Phoebe moved to unlock it, she noticed her hand was trembling. She forced it to still and turned the key. If Will noticed, he didn’t comment and simply followed her into the flat. Phoebe silently thanked herself for cleaning up earlier that day, though it was too dark to make out much beyond the threadbare sofa and small table in the common space.
“Come,” she said as she reached for his hand and led him toward her room.
Marion’s bedroom was closest to the front door, while Phoebe’s was at the other side of the common room. She entered and moved to turn on the gas lamp by her bed, while Will hovered in the doorway. As the room filled with a warm orange glow, he looked around the space.
Phoebe was rather proud of her bedroom. She had decoratedit herself with things she bought with her own money. The bedframe was secondhand brass and made up with a ruffled blanket she found at a Sunday market. She had haggled with the seller before they came to an agreement and she walked away feeling like she had found a trove of gold coins.
Will moved toward a small desk and chair in a corner of the room. Above it hung a corkboard decorated with bits and bobs of things she liked: cutouts from magazines, postcards from school friends, and a few old photos. As Will leaned in to take a closer look, Phoebe hugged her shoulders. She felt strangely exposed, though she was still fully clothed.
“I’d forgotten that day,” he murmured after a moment and pointed to a photograph.
Phoebe moved next to him to see. It was a photo taken during a birthday party in Surrey with her sisters, Will, Cal, and the rest of the neighborhood children, though by then some of them had crossed over into adulthood. Will had already been at Oxford for a year and Alex would follow him to Lady Margaret Hall in the fall.
Phoebe stood shyly beside Will squinting in the midday sun with her body turned slightly toward him. Meanwhile, Will stared directly at the camera with a fist on his hip, full of youthful braggadocio. She had always treasured this photo, as it was the last time they had all been together. Now it felt like her heart was on display for anyone to see. And painfully obvious that she had been in love with him even then. She glanced nervously at Will. He continued to stare at it with a far-off look in his eyes. Then he slowly reached out and touched the edge of the photograph with great reverence, as if it were a relic of Christ.
“I found out about the dukedom the next morning,” he said softly.
“Oh.”
Phoebe could still remember the moment Will shared the news. She and Alex had been making paper fans for a picnic they were hosting in a few days. Phoebe insisted they all needed to be labeled, which was really just a poor excuse to write out Will’s name. But Alex didn’t question it. Phoebe could now see that was a gift on the part of her sister, who usually questioned everything. And then there was Will in their back garden telling them he was to be a duke. Phoebe thought he was joking at first, but then he said he was going to Derbyshire.Tomorrow.
He wouldn’t be coming to the picnic.
He didn’t need her silly fan.
And there was nothing she could do to stop it.Anyof it.
