She nodded. “And I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. It was awful and heartless.” When she lifted her head, her eyes were swimming. “And it wasn’t true.”
My chest felt too tight as I stared at her. I didn’t need an apology. I’d repeated that to myself the whole way over, but I know that part of my heart would have broken if she’d let me leave without saying those words and meaning them.
“After Meneik, I told myself I waited too long, that it was too late to say sorry and—” She broke off when she saw my necklace and then her face crumbled and we were both moving toward each other, meeting in a hug that felt like we’d never gone a single day fighting.
“Never,” I told her.
“I missed you.”
“Me, too.”
“Promise you’ll always tell me when I’m messing up?”
“If you’ll tell me.”
She nodded. “But you saw through Meneik from the start. You’d have never let some guy manipulate you like I did.” She felt me stiffen and drew back. “What?” she said, taking in the way my face had gone slack.
I sucked as much air into my lungs as I could, hoping to make the next part easier. I even tried to smile but it broke before my lips could lift.
Shelly let the two officers into Dad’s apartment and, after introducing everyone, she sat next to me on the couch and didn’t move for the next two hours while they questioned me.
If I hadn’t had my hands clenched tightly in my lap, I think she’d have tried to hold one as I relived not only the last time I was in Guy’s apartment, but every interaction we’d had since the first time we met.
To her credit, Shelly never once reacted. She didn’t gasp or sigh or so much as twitch while I spoke, my voice growing softer as the unbelievable stupidity of my actions hit me all over again.
The officers were kind, too. They never acted like they thought I was lying or embellishing. They wrote down my answers, asked questions that didn’t feel nearly as invasive as I’d been expecting, and they were straightforward with me about what was going to happen when I asked.
Guy would be interviewed next, but I already knew that his version of the events was going to contradict everything I said. And it turned out Guy was very clever. All his insistence on keeping our “friendship” secret meant there were no witnesses who’d ever seen us together. There were also no phone records, no inappropriate texts or voice mails. His kissing and groping hadn’t left physical marks on me, and I’d waited weeks before reporting him. There was nothing to prove my story over his.
“Okay, so what if he denies everything?” Shelly asked, scooting forward so that she was barely sitting on the edge of the couch as her gaze darted back and forth between the two officers. “You can arrest him based on what Jolene told you, right? I mean, right?”
“Unless he admits to kissing or touching Jolene, I’m sorry, no,” said one of the officers, a young blonde woman with striking blue eyes. She turned to me. “You’re the first person to make allegations against him, so unless he says something happened or we find a witnesses or evidence—”
“It’s my word against his,” I said, feeling hollow and small.
“Jolene, I believe you’re telling the truth, and whatever else happens, there is now an official record documenting your story. That report is going to follow him for the rest of his life.”
She told me I was brave and important and that because I’d come forward, any other girl who reported him would have my story to stand alongside hers.
I nodded, feeling more numb than anything as they left and Shelly shut the door behind them. She stayed there, leaned her back against the door until I realized what she was doing and my face went hot.
“Right,” I said, pushing to my feet and grabbing my bag. “It’s not my dad’s weekend and you probably have stuff you need to do.”
Shelly bit her lip. “I want to tell you I’m proud of you, but I’m betting I’m the last person you want to hear that from.” She took a step toward me. “I also want to tell you that it’s wrong that your dad wasn’t here.”
I couldn’t keep my eyes from glancing at the kitchen counter and the note Dad had left me.
Can’t make it today. I’ll make it up to you next time. Knock ’em dead, champ.
I wasn’t sure if he was confusing the events of the day with a soccer game or he really meant he’d try to make it to my next sexual assault police interview. Honestly, neither one changed how I felt about him.
Shelly had read the note over my shoulder, and for a second I’d thought she might throw up.
But then the cops had shown up, and we’d had to forget about the note. I’d try at least. There was an ugly, dark part of my brain that had it memorized though.
“And while I’m sure I know the answer, I’m going to offer anyway.” Shelly sucked in a deep breath and held it before saying, “I’ll go with you if you want to tell your mom. Her lawyers are going to be notified, but if you want to tell her yourself...”
Mom’s lawyers were going to be out for blood and they were finally going to have cause given that this had all happened on “Dad’s watch.” I didn’t want to think about that so I let myself imagine Shelly’s offer, what that meeting might look like, and the injuries and indignities that my mom would inflict on her if she came with me. For some reason, it wasn’t as fun to think about as it used to be.
