“Are you okay?” Before I can answer, he swears under his breath. “You’re bleeding.”
“I am?” I push up to a sitting position on his chest and then slide off, one hand lifting to my eyebrow and coming away wet. One glance at the tiny smear of red and my vision starts to shrink in on itself. Something warm presses hard against the cut and Heath’s steady voice begins to penetrate the darkness.
“—you still with me? Brooke, look at me.”
I focus on his face a few inches in front of me until the blackness begins to recede.
“There you are.” He sits back and lets out a long exhale, his thumb still pressed against my eyebrow. “Your eyes started to roll back into your head for a second. It’s only a little cut.” He lifts his thumb. “Yeah, it’s almost stopped bleeding already. Look.”
I feel myself start to turn the color of the grass and I squeeze my eyes shut, hanging my head between my bent knees.
“Brooke?”
I wave off his concern. “Just give me a minute.” I breathe deeply, in and out.
“Is it the blood?”
I nod. Deep breath in.
“Even that little bit?”
I nod again. Deep breath out.
“Wow. I’ve never seen anyone react like that before to the sight of blood.”
“It’s pretty much my whole family,” I say, still focused on my breathing. “One time when I was like eight, my mom cut her finger while chopping tomatoes or something and Jason and I ran into the kitchen when she cried out. He passed out midrun, ended up slicing his chin completely open, and when I slid in a second behind him, I gashed my head on the corner of the island when I went down too. My dad had to take all three of us to the emergency room for stitches.” It’s only after I finish the story that I hear the sharp breathing coming from Heath. I glance up at him. He looks ready to pass out himself.
At first my eyes scan him for an injury I might have overlooked, but there’s nothing to indicate he’s hurt. And then I remember what I just said. The way my family freaks out around blood, relaying the story of Jason passing out from the sight of a mere cut finger. All I can do is stare at Heath with wide eyes.
Jason always reacted poorly to the sight of blood, and yet, somehow he stayed conscious long enough to stab Cal to death. I don’t know how he could have done that, what would have overridden his mind so much to let him. Questions without answers keep me limp on the ground, but not Heath.
Wordlessly, he gets to his feet and starts walking back to his truck.
“Heath, wait! I didn’t mean—”
He stops but waves his hand to cut me off without looking at me. “Look, it’s late anyway. I need to be done for the day.” He runs his hand through his hair and glances down before meeting my gaze again, and when he does he can’t hold it for more than a second or two. “I told you before that I’d try to remember I’m not angry at you. I’m trying really hard right now, and I’m not gonna feel great later about what comes out of my mouth if I stay, okay?”
I wrap one hand around my opposite elbow and nod quickly, as though I completely understand and am not hurt at all by his needing to get away from me. I get it, I do, but my lungs still feel too tight when I breathe in. We keep trying not to hurt each other.
But I did and he did.
We are.
I don’t even know how to say sorry except to let him go.
“Yeah, I guess it is late.” I have time before my shift starts but I can see how much his composure is costing him with every second that passes. I hate leaving things like this though, especially when I can’t tell if he means he needs to leave now, or he needs to leave for good. “Will you...tomorrow?”
“I don’t know right now. I gotta...” He gestures to his truck, and when he starts walking this time I don’t try to stop him.
It’s late that night, so late that it’s technically not even the same day when I get his text.
I’ll be there tomorrow.
CHAPTER 24
My second practice with Heath starts a lot better than the first, mostly because we don’t talk about anything. We get the half press lift down—and by down I mean up—and with a lot of courage on my part, move on to the full press.
“I got you,” Heath says, as we get into position.
