I was looking at my brother and willing him to sayYes, sirwith every fiber of my being. Not just because I thought staying to help fix the roof was the right thing to do but because I knew this moment would forever change things between Dad and Jason if he didn’t.
“The roof will still be here to replace in two months,” Jason said. “The job on the rig won’t.”
Dad stared at Jason so long that I started to squirm. Jason didn’t move.
“I have the right to make my own decisions.”
I don’t think Dad blinked for a full minute. “Maybe. But what you don’t have is the right to sit at my table and eat the food your mother made and—”
“Then I won’t eat it.” Jason pushed back from the table and stood. “And I’ll leave right now.”
“Sit down and eat.” Dad jerked his gaze down to the seat Jason had left even before the small sound of protest left Mom’s mouth.
“No. Fix the roof with someone else or wait for me to come back after the summer, but I’m going.” He moved around to Mom’s chair and kissed her cheek. “I promise I’ll eat something on the way and I’ll call when I get to Mike’s.” He tried to catch Laura’s eye, but she wouldn’t meet his and instead ran upstairs. He found mine though, and silently tried to make me understand something that I never would.
When Jason went upstairs to grab his bag, Mom reached out to squeeze Dad’s hand. “Go talk to him, please?”
But when Dad left the table, he went downstairs instead of up.
After Jason left, I thought that would be it. But two hours later I heard his car pulling up outside, and when I looked out the window I saw Laura sitting in the passenger seat. She’d snuck into the back seat of his car, and he’d made it halfway to San Angelo before she revealed herself. She’d used the drive back to try to cajole, bribe and plead with him to stay—tactics that had worked well for her in the past, only that time, they fell on deaf ears.
He didn’t even get out of the car as he let Laura out.
It took Dad twice as long to do the job with only my unskilled help. He had to overcompensate for my lack of strength and ended up straining his back so badly that we did have to hire people to finish it. Dad’s back still bothers him when he lifts anything much heavier than Laura.
In Jason’s mind, everything worked out fine. He spent a summer hanging out with Uncle Mike and making real money for the first time in his life, and the roof got replaced before any real damage was done.
After dinner, I clear the table and load the dishwasher. I don’t ask Laura to help me, and she doesn’t offer. I hear Dad’s heavy footsteps upstairs, and a moment later the shower turns off. I hear his low voice saying something soft and indistinct, then Mom’s attempted response before she dissolves into further tears. I listen for the sounds that tell me he’s wrapping her shivering body in a towel and carrying her to bed even though I know it hurts his back.
I go to sleep that night loving my dad.
And hating my brother just a little bit.
CHAPTER 16
“Hi,” I say, smiling at the unexpected sight of my sister sitting on my bed when I come back from the shower the next morning. My clothes used to steadily migrate to her closet—or more accurately the floor of her closet—and Laura herself used to spend so much time in my room that I started keeping an extra pillow and sleeping bag for her under my bed. But it’s been so long since she’s been in here. I’d rather she be waiting to ambush me into going swimming with her or trying to convince me that the mustard stain on my favorite tank top was there before she borrowed it, but the sight of her here for any reason is enough to make me the best kind of nostalgic.
“Whatcha doing?” I dressed in the bathroom but I’m still rubbing a towel through my wet hair as I draw closer to her. “Hey, I’m going to pick up Maggie to hang out if you want—” I break off with a swallow, seeing our grandmother’s quilt bunched up next to her. I know I tucked it away before heading to the bathroom.
Laura fingers one corner of the quilt. “Why do you have this?” Her face contorts a little. “Why would you want to?”
I take another step, my hand already reaching out to take the quilt, but Laura pulls it closer to her. “Why wereyoudigging under my bed?”
She doesn’t flinch, which means she knows that in this case, my defensive question is just that. “I needed my other pillow.”
“Just give it back, okay?” I turn my outstretched hand up. “And don’t say anything to Mom.”
Laura gazes down at the quilt. “Mom hates this,” she says softly. “It’s the only thing she has from her childhood, otherwise she’d have let Dad burn it when he asked.” Mom’s much estranged older sister had sent her the quilt a few years ago along with a note that said she couldn’t keep it in her house anymore and that Mom could do whatever she wanted with it. It was remanded to the attic that very day, and no one had touched it since. Or they hadn’t until I brought it down.
I can feel Laura’s bewilderment, but more than that I can see censure in the tightness of her mouth. I drop the towel from my hair. “I’ve been looking at it, okay?” But I dodge her gaze when I say this.
“You could have looked at it in the attic. If Mom knew you had it in your—”
I whirl on her. “But she doesn’t. And I’m pretty sure Mom has enough problems worrying about—” I’d been going to sayworrying about Jason, but I bite back the words at the look of panic that darts across her face. I soften my voice. “She’s not going to find out, okay?” Laura’s left eyelid twitches, but she doesn’t resist when I pull the quilt from her fingers. She stands and watches as I fold it and tuck it back underneath my bed.
“It’s not the same,” she whispers. Her arms wrap around her middle. Her lip trembles, and even though her eyes have barely moved, I can tell she’s not looking at me anymore. “What you’re doing and what I’m doing.”
Still kneeling by my bed, I press down the lump in my throat. “What are we doing?”
