We’d never gone this long without talking. I couldn’t remember us going longer than a day without at least texting. This whole thing with Dad and Brandon was the first time I’d kept something important from her, and I’d been so relieved to finally tell her. I’d been so sure that once the shock wore off, she’d come to me and demand to see the DNA test results, probably even insist on testing Dad again. And I’d have let her if she needed more than Brandon himself and what I’d learned. I didn’t. The truth was inescapable. But I would have done it for her; I’d have waited as long as she needed, even if each day pretending with our parents was torturous.
I’d have done that, but I couldn’t do this. I needed my sister, mad or happy or any other extreme save absent.
“Dana!”
I lifted my head to see Mom gleefully holding up a novelty candle that spelled out the wordold.
“He’ll hate it, right? I’m getting it.” Into the cart it went. I could see her steps get lighter after that, as she was no doubt thinking up more ways to tease Dad. “Oh, and I’ll finally get to see what you got him. What did you call it, the gift to end all gifts?”
I heard my answer like it was coming from another room. “Yeah, I think I have to get something else. It didn’t work out the way I thought.”
She rubbed my arm. “He’ll love anything you give him—you know that right?”
“Sure, Mom. I’m just gonna go grab him a movie up front. Then I’ll meet you at the register.”
CHAPTER 39
“Hey,” Jessalyn said when I pulled in next to her car at school the next morning.
“Hey,” I said, reaching to grab my bag from the passenger seat and moving wearily since I’d barely slept the night before. Then I said it again, “Hey!” and that time I had guilt invigorating me. “I was going to call you or come by yesterday. I meant to, honest.”
“It’s okay,” she said. “I know you said you weren’t mad—”
“I’m not. Not even a little.” I closed my door and turned right back to her. “I was just surprised.”
She looked down at her hands. “That’s fair.”
I made a face when we both lapsed into silence. I’d let her spend a whole day thinking I was upset with her, and now she was acting like I needed to forgive her for something, which was so not Jessalyn. I made another face, but one that was solely directed at myself. I was maybe the teensy-tiniest bit more than shocked at seeing them together, but that was only because all my emotions were tainted lately—joy with guilt, anger with grief, love with loneliness. Jessalyn with Nick, there wasn’t anything bad about that, and neither of them had anything to feel guilty about.
“Jess, Nick couldn’t do any better.”
Her eyes lifted first, then her head. “Yeah?”
“I mean, I play way better than you, but he’s not really into sports, so—” I broke off when she shoved me, laughing.
“You wish.”
“Hey, if Nick’s fine with a subpar player for a girlfriend, then that’s all that matters.”
“Subpar. Subpar?”
I shrugged, biting back a smile. “Mediocre?” Then I snapped my fingers. “Oh, wait, pedestrian!” My hands flew up to block when she came at me, because teasing or not, Jessalyn could knock me on my butt if she wanted to. But she wasn’t taking even a playful swipe at me. Both arms slung around my back.
“Dana, I tried to tell you a million times, but I didn’t think it mattered, because he didn’t like me back.”
“You didn’t give him a chance to like you back. Clearly he got on board pretty quickly.” I felt her stiffen a little. “No, that’s a good thing.” I let her go. “It’s a great thing.”
Jessalyn bit her lip to hide a smile. “I do like him.”
“A lot.”
“A lot,” she agreed. “But I didn’t want you thinking I’d gone around behind your back or something.”
“What back? There was never anything between me and Nick, and if we’d both been honest with each other from the beginning, you and him would have happened a lot sooner.”
“You’re making me stupid happy right now,” she said.
“Just so long as he is too.”
