The casual part, not the touching.
I freed my hand without effort. “They are pretty red.” But still that same achingly perfect blue.
Through the windows of the garage, Sean noticed my dad’s truck was gone. “I thought you were kidding about your dad firing you for being late.” Sean gestured with his chin toward the garage. “That a bad sign?”
“No, I woke him up climbing through my window this morning, so he was going to go in early. It’s cool, I’ll just ride my bike.”
“I didn’t know you were still doing the roof thing.”
I saw my own discomfort mirrored in his eyes and realized his comment had reminded us both that we hadn’t talked much in months, and never about anything of consequence.
“I don’t mind dropping you off at the shop,” Sean added.
“You’re forgetting I just saw up close how exhausted you are.” I tried for a smile. “Really, it’s fine. I need to take a shower and everything. Go home. Get some sleep.”
Staring straight ahead, Sean said, “You hate that bike.”
So I did, vehemently. And he knew I was choosing it over him.
He shook his head. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Claire makes it better, doesn’t she?”
My smile came easier that time. It wasn’t wide, but it was honest. “Yeah.”
“So we have to be sweating at the butt crack of dawn, just to be around each other? Awesome.”
“We’re around each other now.” And it was only half as hard as I’d feared.
He glanced at the still-lightening sky and fingered the edge of my damp T-shirt. “Kinda my point.”
He meant it to be a joke, based on the way he cocked his head at me, but laughing was the furthest thing from my mind. I didn’t want that. I wanted to be able to hang out with him sans buffer. Claire did make things easier, but she also kept things stagnant, and we wouldn’t fix anything if we stayed like that.
I looked through his window and saw my bike crowded into the Jetta’s backseat. I did hate it. “Help me with it?” I meant the bike, but more than that too. I envied him and his godlike power of pretending things were okay. He made it look so easy. Smile, tease, flirt, repeat. I was still struggling.
My head was always clearer when my hands were busy, and I needed clearer. Things with Sean could get murky if I let them. I moved to the back door to pull my bike out. Without comment, Sean stepped around me, and between the two of us, we got it out without undue bloodshed. A triumph on any other day, but that day it wasn’t enough.
I entered the code to open the garage and rolled my bike in, pausing with my back to him. “Maybe I will take that ride.”
“You sure?”
I was. I hoped I was. “Yes.”
In the blink of an eye, Sean changed. The stiffness in his posture relaxed, the shape of his mouth lifted, even his eyes seemed to change. It wasn’t until that change washed over him that I realized how much he’d been holding back, how I’d been missing him even when I saw him almost every day. He flashed a dimple and held his arms open.
If I still loved him, in that moment, I’d have known exactly why.
“Sweaty hug on it?”
My eyes darted from his arms to his eyes and back again. He was asking me to accept more than a ride. A lot more. It was starting to feel like too much, but I wouldn’t know if I didn’t try.
I stepped into him, my cheek pressing against his damp T-shirt.
“Wow, you sweat a lot for a girl.”
My heart was steady as I smiled into Sean’s chest, silently thanking him for saying the exact right thing to keep the moment light and easy. When he seemed reluctant to let go, I stayed in his arms a second longer, relieved that hugging him didn’t hurt. Not much anyway.
CHAPTER 7
After taking the world’s fastest shower, and Sean taking the whole yellow-lights-mean-slow-down law as merely a suggestion, I made it to work on time.
