Jace was silent for a long while before he responded, “Okay, but if this happens again, I’m telling them, Elias. It’s for your own good. I mean, fuck, you’ve burned through all your money. If you’re not careful, you’ll lose your home. Is that what you want?”
“Of course not. I guess I just didn’t realise how out of control things had gotten.”
The statement was an obvious lie, but neither Jace nor I called him on it. If Elias was broke, then he’d clearly known for a while that he had a problem. A quiet fell, and we drove in silence. My heart went out to Elias, but at the same time, I didn’t like the idea of Jace paying off all his debts if he was just going to go back out and gamble again. It was too much of an easy fix. Plus, this was Elias’ first attempt at giving up, and from my experience with an addict, I knew the first attempt was rarely successful. Nor the second, third, or fourth, for that matter. These things took a long time, and they were a lifelong journey with ups and downs.
Jace parked outside Elias’ apartment building, telling him he’d be back in the morning to sort everything else out. When he was gone, Jace didn’t immediately drive away, instead lettinghis head drop to the steering wheel and emitting a tired groan. I reached out instinctively and rubbed his back. He turned his head to look at me, and I felt the stress of the long day linger between us.
“You okay?” I asked softly.
“Not really.”
“Oh, Lister.”
“But it’s better because you’re here.” He took my hand in his, smoothing his fingers over my knuckles. “You’re my rock.”
And you’re mine. I had no idea how lonely I’d become, how much I’d missed him until he was back in my life, bringing joy into my world. Being a parent felt so much lighter with Jace there to take half the load, and he never complained, never once acted like it was a burden. His love for Zara was so strong I imagined he’d take on twice the responsibility if he had to. It gave me peace to know that if anything ever happened to me, she wouldn’t be alone in the world. She’d have her dad, and he’d do everything in his power to keep her safe, happy and healthy.
“Let’s go home,” he said, and something about the statement had my heart clenching because, whether he realised it or not, he’d come to think of my house as home.
And I’d come to realise it felt more like home with him in it.
18.
Shannon
I thought I’d go straight to bed and sleep as soon as we got back. Instead, I was buzzed, my mind racing. It wasn’t anything to do with the events of the day, but something deeper. Jace’s proximity awakened me in a way I hadn’t anticipated. I was wired with a building, uncontainable energy. Maybe it was because I’d kissed him earlier in the night, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. My skin was tingling, lungs burning, cheeks flushed.
“Hey.” Jace leaned in the doorway, arms folded as he surveyed me pacing my kitchen floor.
“What? Yes. I’m fine.”
He chuckled. “I didn’t ask anything.”
A flush crept up my neck. “You didn’t? Oh, well.”
He stepped into the room, tilting his head as he set himself in my path. “What’s going on, Shannon?”
I paused, peering up at him, skin tingling as I blurted, “I think I need you.”
He took a step closer, eyes darkening as they travelled down my form. I felt everywhere they lingered, from my lips to my neck, along my collarbone, chest, and hips. I realised I was standing in the exact same spot from the morning after my sex dream. There had been more of those. With Jace sleeping on my couch, his irresistible presence filling the house with so much light and warmth, music, and laughter, I couldn’t help dreaming of him.
Sometimes he sang to me; other times he kissed me until I was short of breath. Often, he’d sink his cock inside me, and I’d wake feeling empty.
“What exactly do you need from me?” he asked low, giving me a chance to back out. But I didn’t want to back out. I only wanted him. I watched as he prowled towards me, and then, just like that morning when I’d almost come and he’d barely touched me, he dropped to his knees. My breath caught as a tremble wracked my entire body.
“I need your mouth,” I whispered, my gaze tracing the familiar lines of him, the breadth of his shoulders, the set of his jaw, the lips I’d missed more than I’d ever admit.
Wanting him had never been the dangerous part. Pretending it didn’t mean something was. Jace was all I’d ever wanted, and though I’d tried to convince myself otherwise during our years apart, there was no more denying it.
“If I give you what you want,” he asked softly, “will you be mine?”
The question settled deep, right where the truth lived. Not about tonight. Not about desire. About choosing. About staying. I’d told myself for months, years, that I could live without him, that I could want less, feel less, survive it. But every path I’d imagined had led me right back here. Back to him.
“You know I’m yours,” I said quietly. “I’ve never been anyone else’s.”
And saying it didn’t feel like giving something up. It felt like coming home. I stared into his eyes and the rough, satisfied growl he emitted told me he understood what I was saying. Just like I was the only woman he’d ever slept with, he was the only man I’d ever been with, too.
His hands went to the waistband of my pants. He pulled them down and off, revealing the sheer, lacy underwear I’d put on this morning. I wore it because I liked to wear nice things. I never once expected that anyone would see it before the day was through.
