“Correlation,” he replied, clasping his hands together. “I inferred that their complaining might be similar to Mr McIntyre’s loose trousers schtick. I kindly suggested that if pestering their neighbours was what turned them on, there were role playing groups they could join where they could act out whatever fantasy they liked. That way, they wouldn’t need to involve the poor, unsuspecting young mother next door in their kink.”
I stepped back and lowered onto the third step of the stairs, filled with a mixture of mortification, horror, and okay, just a tiny smidge of amusement. Maybe more than a smidge. My hands covered my face as I let what he’d just said sink in, then I stood back up and pointed a finger at him.
“You are the absolute worst!”
When he saw that I was clearly holding in a laugh, his lips began doing their twitching smile again.
“Ah, come on, those two had it coming.”
“I can’t believe …” I trailed off, struggling to hold in a giggle, “That you actually said that. How did they react?”
“The husband started shouting the odds, and the wife looked so embarrassed I thought she might keel over. Then the husband told me I was disgusting and vile to even suggest such a thing before they both stormed back into their house.”
Wow. Just wow. I wasn’t sure if Jace’s actions were going to make Viola and Gary back off for good or if they would become much, much worse. It could go either way.
“Admit it, it’s funny,” Jace cajoled as he stepped closer and poked me in the stomach.
I batted his hand away. “I will not.”
“Go on, let it out, baby. I love your laugh.”
Battling down my amusement, I managed to plaster on a blank expression. “You’re not as hilarious as you think you are.”
“It was pretty funny,” came another voice, and I realised Margie was standing in the kitchen doorway watching us. She raised her hands. “Sorry for eavesdropping, but Jace is right. Your neighbours had it coming.”
I scowled at her before moving away from Jace and going to make him his morning coffee. I always made it for him now, and he always drank it. I didn’t explore too deeply why that pleased me.
Quietly handing him the reusable mug, which might as well belong to him at this point, I picked up my phone and saw that Margie had been busy sending messages to five different men while I’d been dealing with Jace. Not only that, three of the five had already responded. I looked to her, wide-eyed, and she shot me a little grin and a wink that said,Don’t thank me.
I did not have the headspace to chat with five different potential suitors. Seriously, between her and Jace, everyone was pissing me off this morning.
Setting my phone down, I exhaled heavily for what felt like the millionth time in the last ten minutes before I finally was calm enough to address Jace. “If my neighbours ever approach you again, can you please just not insinuate that they’re sexual deviants?”
He smiled widely, and I forgot how much he loved to challenge me. It was like the more uptight I became, the more he wanted to push my buttons.
“I can’t make any promises.”
“Don’t stress about it,” Margie put in. “Those two needed putting in their place, and you’re far too polite to do it.”
“Thank you, Margie,” Jace said, and they grinned at one another while tapping their coffee mugs together in a cheers.
“Judas,” I complained, narrowing my gaze at my friend, but Margie only chuckled, unbothered. “I’m going to check on Zara,” I said and left the room. There was only so much I could take of my ex-husband and my best friend getting along so well.
***
Later that morning, things got worse when I ran into Dean at the office. Normally, our paths didn’t cross as I was a developer, and he worked with the client relations team. It was true that I hadn’t had a boyfriend since my divorce, nor had I dated, but I did have one ill-advised encounter with a colleague after the annual Christmas party.
The annoying thing about it was that I didn’t even like Dean. I mean, he was conventionally attractive, but he was also arrogant and bossy. I’d just signed my divorce papers that week and was feeling all over the place emotionally. So, when I’d had a little too much to drink at the party, and Dean had offered to share a taxi back to our respective houses since they were on the same route, I’d made the terrible mistake of kissing him. And yes, I’d been the one to make the first move. I’d just been so distraught about my marriage ending, and I’d needed Jace not to be the last man I’d kissed.
Thankfully, a kiss was as far as it went, but ever since then, Dean acted like I had some secret crush on him. I suspected he liked to tell our other coworkers that I was obsessed with him just to boost his own ego. What he didn’t tell them was that a few weeks after the party, he’d asked me out, and I’d declined. He’d responded by saying it was probably for the best since he didn’t need to be saddling himself with a single mother.
So, yeah, bullet dodged. The only downside was I sometimes ran into him at the office. Also, no one at work knew who my ex-husband was. I’d always managed to keep that informationprivate to avoid people trying to befriend me just to get close to Jace and his band members.
I was heading out to grab some lunch when Dean entered the lobby.
“Shannon, long time, no see. How has everything been going with the site for our new German clients?”
“The build is running smoothly so far,” I replied.
