She gave a little squeal. “And can I paint it purple and green?”
Fran winced. “Purple and green, Zarzar? You sure?”
Zara folded her arms. “Those are my favourite colours.”
“Well, your taste is questionable, kid,” Fran replied and stuck out her tongue.
“Hey, if my granddaughter wants to paint her bedroom like the Joker, then that’s her prerogative,” Dad interjected, and everyone laughed.
“I don’t care what you all think. Purple and green are still my favourite.”
“I think it’s a lovely combination,” Shannon said, reaching out to touch Zara’s hand. I loved how she was always so gentle with her. I wasn’t sure how Shannon turned out to be such a natural mother because her own was far from it. Honor Guerin was about as maternal as a king cobra. Speaking of which, I glanced past my sister to Shannon.
“How are your parents?”
“They’re doing well. Singapore suits them.”
“Have they been home to visit recently?”
She shook her head. “Not for a while. They want me and Zara to visit them, but I’ve been too busy with work.”
“Singapore is quite a long flight,” Mam said just as the waiter returned with some bread for the table. We all dug in, and the meal passed in friendly conversation. My eyes kept wandering to Shannon. She’d never been particularly talkative, but it wasn’t because she was shy. She simply had a very reserved personality, but there was something unusually subdued about her tonight.
As we were leaving the restaurant, I asked if I could have a word.
“What is it?” she asked, tucking a strand of her dark hair behind her ear.
I stepped close to her, exhaling as I looked down. “How are you doing with all this?”
Her eyes widened, like she hadn’t expected me to ask that. She bit her lip, and my gaze wandered to her pouty mouth. “Honestly?” she replied, and I nodded. She blew out a breath. “I’m freaking out a little bit.”
A tender smile pulled at my lips. “Understandable.”
“But I also haven’t seen Zara this happy in a long time. I can tell she’s delighted you’re home.”
She really didn’t know how much hearing her say those words meant to me. “I’m delighted to be home. I miss that kid all the time. Even when I get to see her, it never feels like long enough.”
A flicker of emotion passed over her eyes. “You’re a good dad, Jace. She’s lucky to have you.”
I wondered if she was thinking of her own father then. Just like her mother, he’d been cold and withdrawn, not a hands-on parent in the slightest. It had always confounded me that they were still together because their marriage had seemed just as cold and unfeeling as their parenting. Perhaps that was why the relationship had lasted. The lack of emotion suited their reptilian natures.
A short beat of silence elapsed before I said, “So, will I pick her up for school on Monday then?”
I knew I was being a little pushy but this was my kid we were talking about. I didn’t want to miss any more of her life than I already had.
“Oh, right, um,” she trailed off, her eyebrows drawing together before she nodded. “Yes, sure. Let me write down my address.” She began rummaging in her bag for a pen. I pulled out my phone.
“Why don’t you just take my number, and you can text it to me?”
I already knew where she lived. Shannon had bought her house a few months after the divorce went through. Mam had let slip where she was living, and I’d checked it out on Google maps like the obsessive ex that I was. It was a cute place with a powder blue door, a terraced red brick affair not too far from my parent’s house.
“Yes, okay,” she replied, seeming nervous to be taking my number. She withdrew her phone, and I quickly called it out.
“Right, so, I guess I’ll be seeing you on Monday, then,” she said after she’d tapped it in.
I smiled fondly. “Bright and early.”
Shannon insisted on taking a taxi home, and when I climbed into my dad’s car, I got the sense that they were all watching me. A subtle hint of Shannon’s perfume remained, and it made my chest ache.
