Jessa lunges from the desk pointing an accusing finger at her. “You bloody liar, Astrid! I know it’s not just this once because I know you’ve been sneaking around ever since you first went to the library. You really think I wouldn’t know when my own princess isn’t in her room? Arboria has been following you whenever you’ve taken to prancing around this Hel hole. I was fine with the library, Astrid, but what I’mnot fine with is youbreaking into the Vatran king’s office!” She pants heavily. Astrid just stands there, blinking stupidly.
“Arboria’s been following me?” Fionn’s familiar’s Gift is the ability to pass unnoticed, so Astrid shouldn’t be surprised.
Jessa throws her hands up in the air. “The way your mind works confounds me sometimes. Yes, she followed you; your clever little mist doesn’t work on her. Tonight, she came back to tell me as soon as she saw you using ablood-soaked hankieon the king’s office door, but by the time I got down there, you were already inside. How you got blood to bypass the king’s wards I don’t even want to know.”
Astrid looks back to Bastet, who gives the smallest shake of his head. So Jessa isn’t aware of everything, then. She internally recants her proclamation that Bastet is a little traitor.
“I wouldn’t have gone if it wasn’t important.” The register is now back where it belongs, which was the main reason for her visit, but Astrid couldn’t waste the opportunity. And this trip has proven more fruitful than the last. She slips her hand into her pocket to reassure herself that the scraps of paper are still there. “I found something—”
“You know what? I don’t want to hear it. I came here to talk to you about something important, something that pertains to your surviving this duel.”
Jessa pulls the chair out from the desk and sits heavily, her golden whip shimmering around her waist. Astrid decides to keep a healthy distance in case she feels shouting isn’t enough, so she goes to the sofa in the opposite corner of the room and sits with her legs curled underneath her.
“She doesn’t have a dragon, Jess,” Astrid says. The giddiness she felt earlier in the courtyard bubbles up again. “She doesn’t have a dragon and I’m still alive.”
“Well, that explains the insanity of your actions tonight. You must be feeling pretty invincible right now, huh?”
Astrid’s grin drops. “Spit it out.”
“Skylar’s an Exhauster,” Jessa says. Astrid’s mouth pops open. An Exhauster. Someone capable of draining life from another, like the executioner. Sqaõi, no wonder he had such an effect on Skylar. She must have thought she was the only one.
“Poor Skylar,” she murmurs. It acts as kindling to Jessa’s already flaming temper.
“What in Hel are you talking about, ‘poor Skylar’?” She stands back up. “Poor you! Stars above, Astrid, I don’t know what’s going on with you. Giving Skylar healing potions and laughing with her like you’re old friends. Yes, Fionn told me about you and Skylar today. Have you all taken leave of your senses? Are you really so oblivious to everything that’s going on?”
“No, of course not. I just mean, no wonder she didn’t want anyone to know what she was. Her own family has hunted and murdered Blooded like her. Come on, you must have a little sympathy.”
Jessa rubs at her temples. “Why, why, why are you so fuckinggood.”
“Not that good. I do sneak around the castle and break into places I shouldn’t.”
“I am this close to physically beating you, do you know that?” She falls heavily down on the chair once more. “Why aren’t you more worried about this?”
“Because it could be worse. She has no dragon and has a power that requires her to touch me if she’s going to use it. And, honestly, I don’t plan to let her get anywhere near me.” In reality, she hasn’t planned much of anything—she doesn’t want to think about the duel. Can’t stomach the idea of killing Skylar, and wants to think about the actualities of what’s happening in three weeks as little as possible.
Jessa’s silent for a while, contemplating, fingers dancing along her knee. The circles under her eyes are so dark they look like bruises.
“Jess, are you alright?”
She nods, but it quickly turns into a shake of the head, and then her lips press together and start to wobble. Astrid is there before the first tear falls. In all the years Astrid has known Jessa, she can count on one finger how many times her friend has properly cried. And that time was the fifth anniversary of her family’s death. Astrid found her curled up against Quincy on the grounds of Isfjell’s fort, sobbing against the big hawthorn tree they’d sometimes have picnics under, saying she could hardly remember what her sisters looked like anymore.
Like she did back then, Astrid pulls Jessa into her body and holds her as tight as she can. Her friend’s soothing aroma—pine and citrus—wraps around her. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
Jessa hiccups. “I’m just so stressed—today was torture not knowing if she’d make it off the island, then your mum being away, me being left in charge here surrounded by enemies, what’s happening with the floods and the bloody Blight.” She presses her face into Astrid’s stomach. “It’s too much. And now I feel awful and guilty for admitting it because it’s not as if I have to fight in this duel, but, Astrid”—she pulls her face back, skin blotchy—“I’d take your place without hesitation, you know that, right? I don’t want to lose another sister.”
That sets Astrid off. She folds herself onto Jessa and the tears spill over. “You’re not going to lose me,” she whispers. “And never keep how you’re feeling from me again. Your feelings matter, especially to me, and whatever I have to face soon, I’d never be able to face it and survive if it wasn’t for you. You’re my sister, too, and I’m here for you as much as you’re here for me—do you understand?” She squeezes Jessa and repeats, “You are not going to lose me.”
The promise sits uncomfortably with Astrid, but Jessa’s breathing starts to level.
“How are your cramps?” Jessa asks, wiping her nose.
“I’m not on my period. I lied.”
Jessa laughs through a sob. “For fuck’s sake. I did think you were late.”
“As flattering as it is that you’re aware of my monthly cycle, I’m taking a birth control elixir to stop it. I’m due right when the duel falls, and the last thing I need is bloating when battling for my life.”
“Smart. Good to know you can engage your brain now and then.” Astrid elbows her in the arm. “Do I even dare ask where you were today?”
