“Ilsit, no! It’s too late in the day, and my mother doesn’t like it when we return home with wet dresses. It sticks too much to our figures?—”
“It does, doesn’t it?” said Ilsit, grinning.
Rowena’s face was bright red. “Stop that,” she said. “You have to stop.”
Ilsit stared at her, still smiling. If the look on her face was a dare, a question, my sister’s helpless answer was a rushed step, a fast grasp of the front of Ilsit’s dress, and a hard kiss on her mouth.
Then I did gasp. I could not believe what I was seeing.
Next to me, I heard Thane inhale too, though his breath was quieter.
“What is she doing?” I asked and then felt the light slap of Thane’s hand over my mouth.
Ilsit and Rowena were still kissing, arms now entwining about each other.
“Don’t startle them,” he whispered. “Actually, this makes sense.”
“What makes sense?” I said against his hand, momentarily distracted by his touch, though my eyes were still trained on my sister and Ilsit.
Thane’s neck was pink. He withdrew his hand from me. “I mean. Well, all three of us have tried to flirt with Ilsit.” Now his face was pink too. “Especially Wynne. And to no avail.”
“So you’re saying a girl couldn’t possibly resist all three of you,” Isnipped. I was flush with envy that Thane had ever even seen Ilsit like that.”
“You know what I mean,” Thane corrected me, his tone of familiarity softening the spike of jealousy in my heart. “I mean I cannot remember a time when I did not know Ilsit. And she’s never shown much interest in boys.”
I turned to him. “This is a sin. They will be boxed.”
Confused, he said, “Do you really think it a sin, Robbie?”
I felt shame rush in at my words. I truly did not mean to judge my twin by the standards of a church I despised. But I also knew of only one way to see the world. As much as I lovedThe Life of Una, I had never seen the manifestation of a life lived in worship of another god. I had only seen the people of my town. So I answered, “I—I don’t know. Maybe not. But Starling does! Starling thinks a girl and a boy kissing is a sin. What will he say of two girls doing that?”
Thane shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe we should let them have something they won’t ever be able to have again. Not once they grow up.”
We sat there in a sad silence, watching the two girls across the river disentangle themselves, giggling and leaning into each other. Ilsit threw her arm around Rowena’s shoulders and steered her away from the river, into the woods.
Then Thane said, a sort of breathlessness to his speech, “Well, if everyone else is sinning—” And he turned towards me, his shoulder jostling into mine, and gave me a determined, graceless kiss on the mouth.
His lack of skill was the last thing on my mind. This was the most marvelous thing I had ever experienced. I was a bird in a cloudless sky, adrift on the wind with the sun on my wings.
Thane pulled away and stared at me, as if he was making himself courageous enough to look me in the eye. “Was that alright?”
I did not reply with words.
The last weeks of summer sped by like that soaring bird that took flight in my mind whenever my mouth was on his. Every time thesix of us were in the forest, someone would suggest another game of hide-and-seek. This must have perplexed Wynne and Kent, as they were not using it as a ruse to meet up with the objects of their affection. But they were of course outvoted by two couples who could not wait to kiss up against trees, sitting on riverbanks, or lying in patches of fragrant grass and moss.
The more Thane and I kissed, the better we got at it. Our hands were more cautious, but our mouths were bold with each other. Though our first attempts may have been clumsy, by the end of that last moon of warm, thick heat—before harvest days called even the boys of wealthy men to fields—our lips were intimately acquainted.
Rowena and I dreamed of our sweethearts at night, but we never shared them with each other. I was afraid that if I spoke about Thane aloud, I would wake from a dream and realize it was all fancy. And I knew Rowena must have been scared to death to admit to her trysts with Ilsit.
37
THEN: MAGDA
Two things brought that languorous summer to a close.
Kent had a younger brother. There was a slew of summer colds that ran through Sheridan. While they were normally a thing of irritation and not of fatality, Kent’s brother died of his. It felt wrong to play and swim in the forest after such a loss.
And then Magda Geist visited the mill and asked to speak to our parents.
