“Worry was all I did while you were away,” I confessed.
“So wifely to me,” he murmured, handing my cup back to me. He picked up Tabitha to place her on the floor, despite her mewling. He bent my knees to slide my feet from his lap. Standing, he removed the book from the seat of the chair, placing it on the floor next to the tin pitcher and second cup. He moved it even closer so that we sat next to each other.
My left arm, in its sling, was on the side he was near. Alric placed a hand on my upper arm, thumb stroking. “How is it today?”
I sighed. “Better. It is sore, but I only had to drink some of the pain tonic, not all of it.”
He took my cup back from me and drank again. “Good. I am nearly done. And then I have a question to ask.” He set the cup on the floor near its mate and reached out to take my empty right hand with both of his. “When I returned from Ruskar, I got to, at last, make you mine. And for nearly three moons, I was happier than I have ever been. I could not believe my fortune, that you returned my affections. When you told me loved me, such a reward, such a prize for any hardship I had ever endured. Every day that led up to you, no matter the strife, the disappointments, the adversity, you were my reward.”
“You aremyreward for all ofmyhardships,” I responded.
“I hope to always make you think that. And now I ask you what a king just asked you,” my husband said. “Will you marry me, Edith Angler?”
I smiled. “Yes, though you forget, we are already joined in marriage.”
“But I never got the chance to ask you.” He gave me a third smile in return.
“I don’t even have a hand to wear a wedding band anymore,” I told him feebly, feeling tears threaten, though I was certain I had none left to shed.
He held up his left hand, his ring finger bearing not just one wedding band, but two. He wore both of our rings.
I had not noticed it.
“The guard who retrieved your hand was thoughtful enough to remove the ring and return it to me. Anwyn reforged it so that it fit me. I will wear your band for you. For both of us.”
And somehow, despite all of the tears from all of the days since I survived near death, I let two more fall, one down each cheek. “Alric,” I said.
“Edith,” he replied and with the hand wearing our rings, he brushed the tears from my face. “And there is a second question. But it is more a request. If you are to be mine, you must, and I beg that you heed me in this, cease your self-sacrifices. There will be no more throwing yourself in front of eight other women, not in a chapel and not in a throne room when a king says you may live and they may not. There will be no more performances of ancient magic where you are likely to die. No more. Did you even consider what that would do to me?”
I shook my head.
“Then I have not made you understand that your life is priceless. But, more importantly,youhave not seen your life as valuable. Do you not regard it as such?”
Mother Earth spoke to me then.When you learned what The Knelling was, you did not even ask me for your life. You asked for three moons. You should have bargained for your whole life, girl.
I shook my head again. “I must learn to value it. I will. For myself. Not just for you.”
“That is all that I want from you. To love yourself and to let me love you.”
I nodded. “I think I told myself that— that someone else already had your heart. And I was grateful for what scraps of you I might have.”
“You have all of me.” He ran his thumb over my lips and then leaned in close to me. He kissed me on the mouth, firmly but tenderly. “You have all of me. And I love you, wife.”
107. Priestess
The Shark King, via a formal letter in a haphazard scrawl and messy seal, as well as in person, asked me to be the archpriestess of Mother Earth. Hazel refused my suggestion that it should rightfully be her or one of the other more experienced earth priests, but they all, and the acolytes and scribes, advocated for my not only being ordained a priestess, but as archpriestess. Apparently, earth Tintarians and those who worshipped that goddess also called for my ordainment and induction. I weighed this decision, asking Alric what he thought, only to be met with him asking me what I wanted. Hazel pointed out that the four archpriest chambers were all spacious and had private bathing rooms. This had no value to me. If I lay my head down next to my husband, I lived as a queen.
In the end, I spoke with my goddess. Once I had healed enough to return to my room with Alric and I began to learn how to live with one hand, she told me we could no longer speak. She worried her speaking directly to me would again awaken the fates to my presence, alerting them that I could be used to shape the world.
But you will see me in every blossom, every sprout, every twig. I am the spark in the wolf’s eye as it hunts. I am the spring in the deer’s step as it runs. I am all around you and I love you.
“And what wouldyouhave me do?” I asked. “If I am not to be guided by you, how can I lead the entire order of your faith? I feel unequipped for this. How can I do it?”
Because, you are yourself. You are here, sitting in this temple, the city outside flying your flags, all the souls in it still living. You are here, in Tintar, separated by a moon of travel from your home country. You are worse for your wear and better for your bravery. Age looks good on you, girl. You wear it well. Now what is next? Every road has a bend in it. If you are lucky, your road bends many times. This is a bend. Do you see it?
I recruited Hazel in particular and the rest of the staff in general to assist me in taking this mantle. I asked them to be honest with me, as I had asked the other scribes to be honest with me when I became head scribe. I warned them that I had not even practiced as an earth Tintarian for a full four seasons. I even asked them if any of them wanted this position for themselves. None stepped forward.
I was ordained as a priestess and inducted as the archpriestess of Mother Earth on the morning of the rest day the week before The Rush of Flowers, done in time by my request for me to marry Quinn and River. Cian’s slain body had been thrown into the sea by a raving Hinnom and so a new archpriest robe was made for me by several women of Pikestully. Zinnia and Beryl organized the creation of it. It was cut from a sage green fabric, the left arm constructed as a sling instead of a regular sleeve. I was able to step into it, if it hung from the collar on a hook, left side first, resting my left arm into the sling and my right hand and arm into the right sleeve. Different women embroidered different designs into it. Using threads of gold, bronze, green and brown, they told the story of Tintar’s guardians in the sea. Living representations of all five drakes were worked onto the back and the rest of the robe was covered in vines and ferns and roots to honor Mother Earth. I was overcome when I first saw it and it was the finest thing I would ever wear.
