No, a new voice said.But understand that they are not all of you, as they are not all of any person. How much of your life they define is a choice that you make, and make consistently, constantly. It is not a choice that you make and forget. You cannot make choices if you cannot understand or accept the option available to you. You cannot choose when you deny that you have ever chosen.
“I’d call that denial a choice,” Kaylin said quietly. She was standing beneath a bower formed almost entirely of words. This was the heart of the nameless Tower. Ah, no, it was not nameless.
You are certain you are not Barrani? That was a very typical Barrani response.
“I’m only certain that I’m Kaylin.” She exhaled. “Look, if you ask me who I am, I’ve got no answer to give. I can tell you I’m a Hawk. But...that’s what Ido, not who I am. I...don’t know who I am.”
You have been telling me who you are.
“But...only the bad parts!” This seemed wrong to Kaylin.
No. Not only, Lord Kaylin, butalso. It is part of who you have become. It is part of the matrix of choices that you can make.
“Can you see what’s going on outside?”
Outside?
She reddened. “I mean, not here. Not at the core of you.”
This question didn’t fare any better, which was the problem with immortal buildings when it came to communication. Undaunted, Kaylin tried again. “Can you see what my friends are doing? Can you see what our enemy is doing?”
Yes.The silence extended.Understand that Immortals, like any of the living, know weariness, Lord Kaylin. I was injured long ago. The parts of my body that were meant for communication were destroyed, as were most of the functions that governed the living quarters in which the Barrani dwelled.
You are the first living person with whom I have had explicit communication since the fall. I cannot bespeak the Barrani now; I can hear the Lady. I can sense those who come as supplicants. I can fulfill the functions of testing them. But those who approach the being at the lowest remove of the Tower, I cannot save. They are lost.
“I don’t understand. No—I understand that they’re lost. I get that. But...if you were always about testing, what did you do before?”
There was no answer. When it became clear that there would never be an answer, Kaylin lifted both of her arms, elongating her body so that the tips of her fingers could brush, could touch, the surface of the closest of the gathered words.
They were warm. Of course they were. And they were vibrating gently, invisibly, in place.
Your friends are dangerous.
“Yes.”
They should not be here.
“Probably not.” The vibrations beneath the tips of her fingers moved to her palms—or perhaps the words moved. Or she did. Her body seemed to hum with the sensation. “But they’re here for a reason. The Lady approves.”
It appears that she does. You freed the one I could not test.
She stilled. “You tested us.”
Yes, Lord Kaylin. I remember.
“Why is Terrano different?” Before he could mention the marks that girded her body, she added, “Different than Lord Severn, I mean.”
You already know the answer to that question.
“I know why he’s different in my view—but I don’t always understand buildings. Helen accepts him,” she added.
Helen is yours. She accepts what you accept. I am not. But I have chosen to accept his presence on your behalf.A rumble of vibration, felt in the pit of her stomach, accompanied the words—a hint of consequence should Terrano mess something up. The details were left for future consideration.
The words continued their descent. Kaylin moved to the side, finding room for herself amid the shapes of lines, of curves. But her palm continued to rest against the side of one of the words, and that word remained at face height. The rest sank until their bottom-most elements were flush with her feet.
They were taller than she was. Broader. Brighter. But the color of the marks on her skin was now a matching gold, and she thought those marks were vibrating in time with the larger words at the Tower’s heart. She didn’t feel caged by any of the words—the ones on her skin that she hadn’t asked for, or the ones that now surrounded her.
“How can I help?” she asked.
