Do I?
I want my book deal. I want to be wanted. I want to stop feeling like I’m shouting into a void. And, honestly, I want Andy too. Jake might be my only shot at getting both – or either – and maybe I really am the stability he needs to show Arty what’s already under his nose. That Jake is perfect for this place.
Jake watches me like he can hear the argument I’m having with myself inside my head.
‘Here’s my question,’ he says softly. ‘Will this really help you?’
‘Well, JJ thinks publishers might finally look at me if I’m more interesting,’ I say.
‘You’re already interesting,’ he replies.
‘Your hat is more interesting than I am,’ I insist. ‘But JJ thinks it’s true and I do trust her. If there’s one thing she knows, it’s business.’
And theKama Sutra, but he doesn’t need that detail.
‘Okay,’ I say briskly. ‘So. If we do this. We do it properly. We’re there for each other until we get what we want and then, well, we go our sperate ways.’
‘Makes perfect sense,’ he replies with a nod.
‘Oh, but it might mean I need you to come to Andy’s wedding with me,’ I say. ‘But that’s here anyway, so…’
‘I love a wedding,’ he replies. ‘And I’ve never been the plus-one to a best man before.’
I laugh.
‘Then you’re welcome,’ I reply.
‘Plus, it will be a good way for me to show Arty that we’re serious,’ he adds. ‘If we’re here together.’
‘So I’ll get my book deal, you’ll get your sale through, and then we’ll simply… stop. We can fake a break-up,’ I suggest.
‘Yeah, I guess we can tell people it ended,’ he replies.
‘We’ll return to our normal lives, with the things we want, and I guess that’s our happy ever after?’ I say.
‘Sounds like a plan,’ he says with a smile.
‘Do we need to talk about boundaries?’ I say, the words tasting icky in my mouth, but if we’re pretending we’re a couple, it might come up.
‘Alright.’
‘So I guess we might have to do some light publicity,’ I say. ‘For optics. Photos. When Arty is around.’
Jake nods.
‘Yes, ma’am.’
‘About that,’ I say. ‘Much as it pains me, because I really like you calling me ma’am, maybe it’s not right?’
‘Ma’am is respectful where I come from,’ he replies.
‘Ma’am makes me feel like I’m about to be offered a seat on a stagecoach,’ I say.
‘Would you like a seat on a stagecoach?’ he asks.
‘Oh, 100 per cent,’ I reply. ‘But I guess, if we’re a couple, pet names might be better?’
‘Sure thing,’ he replies. ‘Babe?’
