‘I watched his whole face change,’ I continue. ‘He dropped the act, just like that, let his mask slip for a second and then put it right back on, like it never happened.’
‘He didn’t even acknowledge it?’ she checks.
‘No, he carried on banging on about how his fans are important to him, so is his charity work – he loves people,’ I add with a roll of my eyes.
JJ places her drink down and pops a couple of grapes in her mouth as she thinks for a second.
‘Wow,’ she says in disbelief. ‘That is just next-level arseholery. He seemed so nice.’
‘Don’t they always?’ I reply. ‘Don’t get me wrong though, I do appreciate you trying. All jokes aside, I know you only want good things for me.’
‘Better things than an arsehole or a potential murderer, yeah,’ she replies. ‘But, like, way better.’
I laugh.
‘You tried,’ I reply. ‘At least Pete’s murder thing was – if we’re being generous – fictional. Max was actively ruining someone’s night because she had the nerve to talk to him.’
‘Did you say anything?’ she asks – you can tell she’s surprised. I guess everyone falls for Max’s good-guy act.
‘I wanted to,’ I say. ‘But it was easier to fake an upset stomach.’
‘Sounds like he was making you sick, so fair enough,’ she adds. ‘Well, I am defeated. I surrender. I don’t know what you want. You cannot be pleased.’
I let out a humourless laugh.
‘Trust me, nobody is more aware of that than me.’
‘Well, obviously I’m not going to let you turn this into a “something wrong with me” monologue,’ she replies. ‘You don’t want a murdery guy or a grade-A dickhead. There’s plenty more fish in the sea…’
‘I thought you were giving up,’ I reply through a smile.
‘I’ll give up on the blind dates but, friend to friend, let’s unpack what you’re actually looking for,’ she suggests. ‘And don’t talk tropes to me. Strictly non-fiction. What are you looking for?’
I think back to the conversation I had with Andy. How easy it was for him to know the things I wanted in a man.
‘Andy and I talked about this on the phone the other day,’ I tell her. ‘We were talking about my type, and he said he knew exactly what I was looking for.’
‘Oh really?’ she says, instantly alert. ‘And what does Andy think you’re looking for?’
‘A man who reads,’ I say. ‘Someone who can keep up with my sarcasm. Someone who understands that chocolate is a food group, that caffeine can be consumed at all hours of the day, and that I’m not being dramatic when I say a book is my new favourite. He said he thought I was the kind of girl who found something new to fall in love with every day.’
JJ stares at me.
‘What?’ I ask.
She blinks slowly.
‘Whitney. He just described himself.’
‘No he didn’t,’ I insist. ‘Well, I mean, yeah, he did in that he described someone who knew what I wanted.’
‘You have a lot of shared hobbies, don’t you,’ JJ says.
‘Yeah, reading, eating, video games, movies…’
‘All the kind of stuff you want to do with a partner?’ she checks.
‘Well, yeah, obviously a friendship is a great base for a relationship,’ I reply. ‘But by that logic, we should date.’
