30
‘Thank you,’ Cordelia says when I hand her the toothpaste. ‘There was no one else I could ask.’
‘Well, I am your bridesmaid,’ I point out.
‘Supposedly,’ she says under her breath.
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ I reply.
Cordelia angrily tightens the belt of her silk robe.
‘You and JJ don’t like me, do you? You both keep interrogating me, sneaking around, and you won’t let me in your little clique – you’re mean girls,’ she insists.
My jaw drops.
‘What is your problem with me?’ I ask. ‘All I’ve done is try to help you.’
‘I don’t have a problem.’
‘Yes, you do,’ I reply. ‘You’ve had one all week.’
‘I think you’re projecting,’ she says with a scoff.
‘No,’ I reply. ‘I think you’re hiding something.’
‘I think you and JJ are just making things up for attention,’ she says. ‘And I’m going to tell Andy – he’ll never want to see you again if you ruin his wedding.’
I don’t want to meddle, but I don’t want her to either.
‘I’ve noticed the phone calls,’ I interrupt before she can say another word. ‘The way you lower your voice every time someone walks past while you’re on the phone. The way you slam your laptop shut like it’s full of state secrets the second anyone comes near – even Andy. And I’ve noticed how tense you get when anyone asks even the most basic questions about your past.’
‘It’s my wedding. I’m allowed to be stressed,’ she replies.
‘You’re allowed to be stressed,’ I agree. ‘You’re not allowed to marry my best friend while keeping secrets that could break his heart and ruin his life.’
Silence. Thick, heavy silence.
I don’t know if Cordelia is going to murder me or burst into tears. Then her shoulders drop.
She closes her eyes.
‘It’s not what you think,’ she says quietly.
‘I think you’re lying to him,’ I reply. ‘Look, I don’t know what’s going on, but I know that much.’
She opens her eyes again, and this time when she speaks, there’s no stopping the truth from flooding out.
‘You want to know the truth? Fine, I’ve been married before, twice,’ she blurts. ‘And that’s why my family don’t speak to me, because they’re embarrassed by me, because the first time I was twenty, and it lasted six months, and the second time, well, he was a bad guy. He left me in a bunch of debt, and he took off – we’re supposed to be divorced, but I never got the final paperwork through, and he’s nowhere to be found, so I’ve been going on and on at the lawyers, trying to make sure I’m divorced, and I found out tonight, I am, and I have been for a long time. Okay, maybe I should have told Andy, but I love him so much, and I didn’t want him to judge me too.’
‘Andy would never judge anyone,’ I tell her. ‘He’s not like that. He’d understand, if he had all the facts.’
‘I just didn’t want to take that risk until I was sure,’ she replies. She wipes her eyes angrily. ‘I’m lonely, Whit. I’ve been lonely for years. And he makes me feel safe. I love him.’
‘Look, I understand, I just panicked when I thought you were keeping things from him, but this makes sense,’ I reply. ‘Whether you tell him or not, that’s up to you, but what I will say is that he’ll understand.’
‘He will, won’t he?’ she says with a smile. ‘That’s why I love him. And you’ve been a great bridesmaid – and I’d be honoured to have you by my side.’
‘I’d love to,’ I tell her.
