"So, should we talk about what I said?" Constantine asked once we were far enough inside to be alone.
"When?" My stomach knotted.
"In the barn." He squeezed my hand. "When I said I love you."
"You did." I nodded.
"I meant it. And not in the 'we've been through hell and are forever linked' way."
"We barely know each other," I protested. "How could you love me?" I looked up at him in wonder. Constantine flashed me that crooked smile that made my heart do crazy things.
"How could I not? You're independent, you're successful. You love people more than you should and want to believe the good in them. You're smart as fuck about plants, and you're a stone-cold fox who's fun in bed."Blood rushed to my face.
"Don't say that so loud!" A giggle escaped my lips.
"What, that I enjoy having sex with my wife?" he bellowed. I pushed him playfully and he laughed. "I'm sorry. I know it's not great timing, but I've been thinking about it all day and I needed to just get it out there. Eisley, I'm in love with you."
"Constantine…" My hand ran to my shirt, where the fresh ink lay under it. "I'm in love with you too. But..."
If he knew my secret, would he still feel that way? Could he love someone… crazy?
I winced. The word had been etched into my brain since I’d left the Church. That’s what they called me, the school kids. Crazy.
"It’s because of Kansas."Constantine pulled me from my dark place.
"I love him too.” I agreed. “You asked where I was today. I was getting this." I tugged on my top and pulled it down just enough to show him the second Death's Head Moth on the other side of my collarbone. One moth to represent both men I loved.He stared hard at it for a long time.
"Are you mad?"
He ran his tongue along his teeth and sighed. "No. I've always known you loved him too. That's why I did what I did."
"Did what?"
"I stayed behind."
Rule 63 - Eisley
Don’t hesitate, just run.
Ten years ago.
Ipulled up my dress. It was heavy and itchy. White lace that smelled like mildew and dragged on the ground. I was allowed to see my reflection for the first time since I'd arrived at the Church. I was so... different.
I was thin, my eyes so tired, my hair so long and fragile. How had I lasted this long in that room? I was skin and bones.
"This dress was handed down to you by a Mother who is a seamstress." The Mother who had pulled me from our room said. She had ripped my clothing off and thrown me in the bath. She scrubbed my skin so hard it was red and screaming. She washed my hair too, and brushed it for a long time, getting all the tangles out. Finally, she made me put on this dress and added a headband with a long piece of fabric on it.
"What's a seamstress?" I asked.
"She makes dresses. Specifically, wedding dresses."
I blinked.Wedding dress?
"Why do I need one?" I asked, uneasiness creeping down me.The Mother chose not to answer. Instead, she asked if I was hungry.I almost laughed. I'd been hungry since the day I came here. What was being full?She brought me oatmeal and toast, still warm.
"Don't get it on your dress!" she barked at me. "The Minister will be very upset if you don't look perfect for the ceremony."
"What ceremony?" I asked, and again, I was ignored. "I don't want to do a ceremony." I pushed my bowl away. Something about the way she was treating me made me want to vomit. I stood up from the small table I'd been eating at.
