“I hate that you’re right. You’re a good man. Better than me.” I walked over to him and pulled him in for a tight hug. “You and Audrey are going to be so happy together. And like I said before, if she wants to talk about it, you guys can come to me. Just no pity party stuff, okay?”
“Deal. And same here. If Tate is uncomfortable or has questions, I’ll try my best to answer. I don’t think it’s the same on my side, but I want to be there for you.” We pulled apart and smiled at each other.
“Thank you,” I said. “Now get out of here and go get you a wife.”
He laughed and did as ordered. It was only a moment before my own spouse and child came through the door.
“Cash was a little later than usual leaving. Is he alright?” he asked as he brought Cara to me. She was wide awake. I reached my hands out and she smiled. I took her and bounced her a bit on my hip.
“Yeah, he’s just a little nervous about proposing to Audrey.”
“Did he say how he’s going to do it?”
I shook my head.
“Not any details, just that he had an idea. I’m sure we’ll hear about it when it happens. Hey,” I paused, taking a large gulp of air. Was I really doing this? Yes. Cash’s words echoed through my brain. It was important to be completely honest with Tate. “When we’re ready to relax I want to talk about something kind of important.”
“Oh,” he blinked. “Well, that works out good because I have something too,” he chuckled. I forced a smile, but I knew he could tell it was fake. His smile faltered. “Is everything alright?”
I nodded.
“Yeah, it’s really no big deal. Let’s get Cara down for bed and we can settle down with beer and popcorn. What do you think, scary movie night?”
“I guess. Are you sure it’s something we can’t just discuss right now?” He eyed me warily. I smiled but said nothing as I turned and headed towards where we kept the baby formula. With one hand, I started preparing her nighttime bottle. Tate came over and helped me. When I had it shaken and ready for her, I took her to her bedroom and fed her until she fell asleep in my arms.
By the time I was confident she wouldn’t wake back up for a few hours, I set her in her crib and closed the door, taking a second look to make sure her monitor was on. When I returned to the living room Tate was relaxing on the couch. I think out of all his various looks, this was my favorite. Shirtless, relaxed, and smiling. He had popcorn on the table and a beer in his hand.
I plopped down beside him. I let out a groan as I stretched my legs and relaxed into his side.
“Long day?” he chuckled.
“It’s never long when I’m with you,” I said, and I really meant it. Time went so quickly now. Before, when we weren’t together, time was agonizingly long. “You were good up there. With me,” I commented.
“I had a lot of fun, actually. I didn’t realize how much fun I had singing.”
Silence stretched out between us. I knew he was waiting for me to bring up what I had mentioned earlier, but I really didn’t want to. The sinking feeling in my stomach was really starting to hurt. I didn’t know how he would react to my past. Or the fact that I had kept it from him for so long. Would it really be a big deal?
I sat up and swallowed the lump in my throat. He straightened as well and gave me a coaxing, yet reassuring smile.
“You had wanted to talk about something?”
I nodded and began to gnaw at my lower lip.
“Yeah. There’s something I haven’t told you. I never thought of it as a big deal, I haven’t really told too many people. Dallas, Ronny, Cash, obviously, but I don’t really like talking about it.”
“The whole band knows this?”
My body went on alert immediately. See, I thought. He was already not happy with this, and I hadn’t even gotten to anything real yet. I pressed my lips together and nodded.
“It was a need-to-know basis. I didn’t think you needed to know.”
“And what changed your mind?” He raised an eyebrow and I had to look away. Guilt hit me again.
“Cash is going to tell Audrey.” I looked back up at him, knowing the guilt was very clear on my face. His face was blank. He wasn’t going to give me the out to not tell him. I hated him for it but understood that I was the one in the wrong here, not him. It took me a long time but finally, I told him the truth.
“When I was dating Cash, he got me pregnant, and I had a miscarriage.”
Tate blinked, his face contorting into confusion. I could hear and feel every separate beat of my heart as I waited for him to respond.
