“Tierney.”
My former best friend’s name was the last thing I expected to hear. It made me turn in interest. He flashed me a smile, but I didn’t return it.
“I tried all the places I could think of. Dallas suggested a few too, but you weren’t at any of them. I grew desperate. I called her on a whim, not expecting her to answer, but she did. And then she told me to come here.”
I said nothing. It made sense if I thought about it. This was where she had taken me to talk the last time I had seen her. I must have subconsciously wanted to be here to figure things out. It was a nice place for it.
“Are you mad at me?”
I blinked.
“Are you serious right now? Yes, Tate. I’m mad at you.” I whipped my head towards him and glared. His eyes were hard and his face tight with concentration.
“For what exactly?”
“What do you think? My brother told me what you did to Ronny. To me!” I pointed to my chest. “How do you think exposing me like that was okay? It’s so embarrassing.” I dropped my head back down into my knees. I could feel my chin trembling as tears threatened to fall from my eyes. He reached over and put his hand on my back. I shrugged him off roughly. “Don’t touch me!”
“I wasn’t thinking when I did it. I don’t know why I did it. I just wanted to get back at him.”
I looked up at him and shook my head in disgust.
“Back at him for what? For having feelings for me?”
Tate rolled his eyes and shook his head.
“No, for all the times he threw it in my face how good he was in bed. For the months I had to hear you two going at it every God damn night. I thought he deserved to know what it felt like for the woman he loved to be fucking someone else. To hear her derive pleasure from another man. To know that he doesn’t get to experience you like that ever again. That’s what for.”
I looked towards the ocean. I wasn’t in the mood for some chest beating contest. I was so over it. I didn’t want to deal with it anymore.
“Yeah, I admit I fucked up. Damn it, Jimmy talk to me!” he yelled. I raised my head and blinked away the tears. He was frustrated with me, but I was beyond tired of this.
“About what? It’s too late to fix things. You got what you wanted. Ronny’s jealous and pissed off.”
“I don’t give a fuck about Ronny. I care about you.”
“I think it’s a little too late to start caring. You know,” I dropped my arms and swiveled my body to face his. He did the same. “I thought you were different. I hated dating Ronny. He’s cocky, possessive, and so jealous it’s hard to breathe. I can’t be with someone like him. I won’t. I didn’t choose you because you were good in bed. I thought we had a deeper connection and if you don’t agree with me than maybe we should reconsider things.”
“Reconsider what? Jimmy, I told you that you were the only one for me for the rest of my life. I wasn’t lying. There’s nothing to reconsider.”
“Am I supposed to just forgive you for exposing me like that to the world? Is that why you said the things you said? Why you wanted me to do those things? Not because of us in the moment, but because of who was listening on the other side? It makes me sick thinking about it.”
Tate said nothing. Nothing proved me right. I felt degraded. We did things I had never done before with anyone and it wasn’t for him. It was for a cruel prank. He thought he was hurting Ronny, but he was really hurting me.
“I’m sorry,” he said finally. My attention shifted from my inner thoughts to him. He shook his head and took a long, deep breath. “I’m so sorry.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say to that.”
“I want you to say you still love me. That you forgive me. That you’re not leaving me. That you need me as much as I need you,” he gulped and waited. I didn’t say anything and he grew anxious. He reached for me, pulling me into him. “Say it. Say you still love me.” The arms that only hours ago held me in beautiful, passionate love now felt cold, hard, and unfamiliar.
I had to get away. I needed time to think. I pushed out of his embrace and stood. I looked down at him and shook my head.
“I don’t need you. I want you. They are two separate things, and the sooner you figure it out the better. Don’t come back to my apartment until you know the difference.”
