* * *
“Do you have to go already? I feel like you guys just got here,” I complained as I played peek a boo with Cara on the couch. She was awake more often now and loved to play and giggle with me. I didn’t want her to go.
“I know, but it’s a drive out to my mom’s and then a drive to the restaurant. I can’t be late to this. They are paying me.”
“What is it again?” I asked, not looking at him. I was too busy smothering Cara’s little pink cheeks with kisses.
“A book reading.”
I paused to look over at him. He was watching the two of us with amusement.
“Like, a sexy book reading?”
He shrugged.
“Yeah, thatismy job. This is a good one though because I’m not the only narrator there and it’s a large event. Some of the smaller, more intimate ones get a little weird.”
“I bet.” There was a long pause before Tate commented again that he had to pack her up to get going. I squeezed her tight and inhaled her scent. It was so... soft. It was hard to describe, but I knew that my heart would break when they left and her scent faded again.
“You know, if you really want, I can leave her here with you. It’ll give me an excuse to see you again tonight,” he grinned. My heart sped up nervously. I hadn’t babysat her before. Not with him actually leaving the general vicinity.
“Are you sure?”
“Only if you want to. We’ve got to start somewhere. I hate that you don’t get to spend a whole lot of time together.” He stopped, and it looked like he wanted to add something. I knew without him speaking that he wanted to say,“She needs a mom.”
Saying I wanted to be there and actually being there was two separate things. Right now it was just all hopes and dreams. I didn’t really feel like I could call Cara my daughter until we were all under one roof. It wasn’t my right.
“I’d love to keep her while you go,” I said finally. I returned my attention to the baby in my arms. She was starting to get sleepy. I pressed her to my chest and stood up. I laid her down in her bassinet and turned to Tate. He was already grabbing for his keys.
“This actually works out great. Now I have time to shower and change into something nicer.”
I smiled, thinking about how we had spent our time earlier.
“What, the ladies coming to listen to you read don’t want to see you in jeans and a worn band tee?”
He rolled his eyes.
“If they had it their way, I’d be shirtless. But they do like a man with tattoos and a suit,” he said pointedly. I nodded.
“Yes, we do.”
I went to him and wrapped my arms around him. I sighed and pressed my head to his chest.
“I’ll miss you.”
“I know. I’ll be back as soon as I’m done. You have everything you need for the baby. Call me if there’s an emergency. I really have to go. I love you,” he added, kissing me quickly before leaving.
Cara began fussing in her bed, so my sadness was quickly forgotten by the excitement that I was going to have her for longer than an hour. I hurried to make her a bottle and get her fed for another nap.
I rocked her to sleep and held her for a long time as she dozed. She was such a beautiful little girl. She was only two months old so you couldn’t really tell what her permanent features would be, but she looked so much like her father it was remarkable. Her hair the same bright yellow, her eyes the prettiest green.
Eventually I had to sit her down to do some things around the apartment. My arms instantly missed her warmth. No sooner had I set her down did my phone ring. I answered it when I saw it was Lola, my younger cousin.
“Me and Rosa wanted to check out some of your equipment. Can we stop by?”
I glanced over at the sleeping infant.
“I can’t really hang right now. I’ve got the baby here. She’s sleeping.”
