“Remember that fight we had, right before you left to go get her? About you not really wanting the baby, but doing it for me?” His eyes were desperate and watering again. Mine began to match his. The stretching out of what he was trying to explain was making this all so much worse.
“Do you regret it? The baby?” I looked at him and thought about it for a long moment.
“Does it matter?”
Tears began sliding down his face and he squeezed my hand. My face dropped. What happened? He gulped, wetting his lips with his tongue.
“Cleo was rushed into an emergency c-section. She’s not doing good. There’s a chance we are going to lose them both.”
My silent tears turned into full on sobs. I covered my face with my hands, and I heard Mark break down as well. I leaned over to him and he embraced me, holding me as we cried for everything we had lost in the matter of a few hours.
Eventually our sobs turned into short, softer cries. I kept my eyes closed and rested on my husband.
There was a frantic knock on the open door. It was Adrian. We looked up at him and his face was grim.
“You better decide whether you’re ready to do this,” he said. His voice hard and tight. His hands were shoved into his pockets. Mark sat up straight and wiped his face, looking hopeful.
“Any news?”
“Yeah,” Adrian nodded and then his hard face finally cracked. He let a small smile through.
“You have a daughter, and we still have our girl.”
* * *
They made me use a wheelchair to leave the room. Mark and I moved as fast as we could to meet everyone in the hallway. We were met with the whole gang. Even Tabatha and their three children were here. I looked up at Mark who was just as confused as I was.
“Ethan called and had us get up here just in case they had to say goodbye. Looks like she pulled through,” Tabatha smiled. You could tell she and everyone else in the small room had been crying as well. Ethan looked downright broken.
His hair was a complete mess, his face was puffy and tearstained. His body looked like it was slowly deflating. Wait, why was he still here?
“Her and the baby are in recovery. Cleo lost a lot of blood.”
“Will she be alright?” I asked quickly.
Chase came over with a babbling Rocky. I smiled and stuck my tongue out at him, causing him to giggle.
“The doctor says it will take time, but they think she’ll make a full recovery. They’ll be wheeling them back to her room.”
Them.
I looked up at my husband quickly. He understood my sudden look and then burst into laughter. It seemed as if we all had a well of never-ending tears tonight. His sparkled in his eyes.
“It’s a girl? We really have a daughter?” He asked to no one in particular. Everyone nodded to him, smiling widely.
“Ten fingers, ten toes, and absolutely no hint of a pen-” Derek started but Dita slapped her hand over his mouth. We all chuckled and got the message.
“When can we see her?” I asked. Chase told us that he was going to go ask. He returned moments later, informing us that Cleo was asleep and the baby was on Oxygen. We couldn’t hold her until her oxygen levels were okay. However, before Cleo passed out, she insisted that I got to be the first one to hold her. Me? I wasn’t sure if I wanted to see the baby without Cleo there. She was just as much a part of this as we were. I mentioned that to Mark. He leaned down and kissed my forehead.
“I’m sure she doesn’t mind. She’ll understand. We can see her through the window though,” he said pointing up the hall. His reassurance comforted me and my excitement and nervousness returned. We waited eagerly with the rest of the group. Our somber mood turning into one of excitement. Despite the numerous losses that had happened tonight, we decided to look at the positive.
We hurried up the hall and pressed our faces to the window. There were about half a dozen pink and blue bundles in clear tubs. Everyone began reading off the names on the bins in search for ours. Finally, in the very back, hooked up to machines I couldn’t fully see, was Baby Lacey.
My heart stopped.
I couldn’t see her very well. They had her swaddled and the machines blocked most of her, but there she was. Our baby. Our daughter. Mark squeezed my hand and I looked up to see him staring hard at the tiny box.
The nurses let us stay there for almost half an hour before asking us to move to the family waiting room. I didn’t want to go. She hadn’t moved, but still, I wanted to watch her forever.
