Chapter One
Best I Can Do
My husband decidedthat Blue’s first birthday was the perfect day to talk to Cleo. He spent the entire morning excited and eager to get to the Andrews’ home. His good mood didn’t last long, and I watched my husband freaking out the entire party. He was practically sweating. He avoided being alone with Cleo every chance he got. When she came near, I watched him look around, panicking and flat out walking away towards someone else. He looked how I felt.
He was the one who even brought it up in the first place. It was the evening after we had found out that I couldn’t carry a child. I had spent most of the day in bed, wallowing in self-pity. I locked the door, not even letting the dogs in. I needed to be alone. This was my problem, not his.
To give him credit, Mark did leave me alone for most of the day. I think he was just as devastated by the news as I was, if not more so. It had been him that had brought up having kids first and I was more or less just along for the ride. However, the longer it took to conceive the more anxious and excited I grew about the idea of a little Mark Junior or mini me.
Now I was unable to give my husband, the man who had and would do anything for me, the only thing he desired. He only wanted one thing from me, and I was unable to deliver. The diagnosis was earth crushing.
He understood I needed time to accept this on my own. When he finally did come into the bedroom, he sat down on the bed next to me and pushed my hair out of my face.
“Baby, talk to me,” he said in a soothing voice. I ignored him. He stayed with me in the dark room, not saying another word until I looked up.
“How are you okay with this? This was it. We’ve tried everything, Mark. It’s over. It’s not going to happen!” I choked and he pulled me up. I started to sob into his chest.
“We haven’t tried everything,” he said. I stopped and looked up at him curiously. He gulped and looked away; his eyes guilty.
“What are you talking about?”
He then explained his grand idea. We spent the next month discussing it at length whenever we could. It was kind of hard when Derek was practically living with us now. I wasn’t too keen on the idea at first, but the more he talked about it, the more the idea grew on me. It wasn’t a terrible plan.
Finally, the day came where we decided we would just go for it. Baby Blue’s birthday. I wanted to do it together, but Mark wanted to talk to Cleo in private. We had argued about that, but finally I relented. He had his reasons, and I accepted that. Everything was always different when it came to her.
It wasn’t just me that was mildly jealous of her relationship with my spouse. I knew that Chase had fought with Adrian at least once about it, and Dita struggled with it as well when she dated Adrian before Chase. However, Cleo was so over the moon in love with Ethan I didn’t worry. She wasn’t taking Mark from me any time soon. That adorable goof was only mine.
Blue’s birthday came and went. Mark told me that this was the day he wanted to talk to her, but then he used Rocky, Adrian and Chase’s son as an excuse not to go too far. Chase couldn’t make it to the party today because he had radiation for his brain tumor. Adrian wasn’t used to taking Rocky by himself just yet. He was barely two months old.
It was kind of crazy to think back to this time last year. Our little band family was growing so fast. The only ones that had children were Cleo and Ethan, and Mark and I were the only married couple. Now Derek was the only single one here, and we were the only childless couple. I watched Adrian take Rocky from Mark to go change him. I never would have imagined Mr. fast and loose would settle down and become a father.
Earlier this year, Adrian met Chase Wilson. They fell hard and fast for each other. Chase told Adrian he was dying from cancer pretty quickly into their relationship. Adrian, being well- Adrian decided that he was going to make the rest of his time here memorable.
We spent the rest of the year traveling the country, doing all sorts of fun things that we had all wanted to do before we die. Chase was so kind and such a giver. He didn’t want the spotlight ever on him. That was how we got our dogs, Beau and Bonnie. It was great. Adrian was happy, Cleo and Ethan weren’t fighting anymore. Mark and I were in a good place and Derek was doing Derek. The only dark spot in our lives was the fact that one day Chase would be gone.
However, everything changed when Duchess, Ethan’s ex-girlfriend decided to try to kill Chase. I guess in her defense I don’t think she was in the neighborhood looking for Chase, but she spotted one of the group and went for it. He was crossing the street and she floored her bright yellow Jaguar; but she missed her target.
Derek had been walking to Chase and Adrian’s apartment. He saw the car and jumped into the street, shoving Chase and Chester, their dog, out of the way. Chase was okay, but Derek had a punctured lung and both of his legs were broken.
According to Adrian, that near-death experience made Chase change his mind about not getting treatment for his tumor. That and the fact that he unknowingly fathered a child and the biological mother was dead.
The whole situation was confusing at first, but when things settled down, they were able to get more information and then explain things to us. Apparently a very successful lawyer had decided she was ready to be a parent. However, she couldn’t carry a baby and had no man in her life to father the child. She went to a sperm bank and decided Chase’s number was the winner. She hired a surrogate and everything was going as planned until the biological mother passed away suddenly.
The sperm bank decided to release the information to the surrogate in hopes that perhaps Chase would be interested in taking him so he wouldn’t be thrown in foster care. Of course, Chase wanted him. That was the kind of man Chase was. They brought him home the day after he was born and that’s how little Rocky Wilson came to join our family, and how we got the idea for what we wanted to do.
I think it was really overwhelming at first for them, understandably. Going from two laid back guys to raising a newborn was definitely a hard transition. They had to learn how to change diapers, prepare bottles, and everything else that came with raising a child. I think Adrian struggled more than Chase did though.
“I have to work with two different pooping schedules now. Between feeding Chester and Rocky, I don’t have time to feed myself,” he joked, but the bags under his eyes told us that he missed those mid-day naps.
They had help though. Cleo and I were more than happy to help furnish little Rocky’s room and have babysat once or twice to give them a break. I certainly didn’t mind, that little boy was an angel. I would babysit more, but Cleo kind of claimed dibs on him. She was so excited for a friend of hers to have a baby. When she wasn’t holding her own baby, she had Rocky in her arms.
Sometimes when they didn’t know I was watching I saw how Mark watched her with all of the children. Wonder, awe, and adoration filled his eyes. If all of the other men in her life didn’t do the same, I’d be worried or jealous, but I could never be. Much like on stage, Cleo stole the spotlight wherever she went. I don’t think she could help it, that’s just how things were. That wasn’t going to change.
Not that I wanted it to. One of the first things Mark told me when we first started dating was how close him and his bandmates were. I think his exact words were, “We’re all really close. Cleo lives in Michigan, but she’s still a big part of my life. I’m going to tell you right now, if you can’t handle that then this isn’t going to work.”
I’m not gonna lie, I didn’t really know how to process what he had said. I didn’t really understand at first. Like, what was he trying to tell me? I still didn’t fully understand until he brought me to visit her and his family right before we got married.
When he called her to schedule a dinner with us, she was hesitant. Mark was so excited to see her. We had spent an afternoon with his parents, but he had marked out an entire weekend to see her and the twins.
