He’s always been the type of lover to get lazy and dozy and content after he comes. I remember that, too.
That’s not going to stop me, though. “About me, baby. How long did you know about me?”
He goes still beneath my questing finger. At first, he’s doesn’t answer me. His hand caresses the back of my upper arm, fingertips skipping lightly over my burn. While we didn’t undress completely for sex, I did shed Rory’s jacket. It’s currently on the floor, leaving Chase to touch my ruined skin gently.
And then?—
“Did Jack ever tell you what happened that night?”
He doesn’t have to saywhatnight. I know what he means. “Not really. Just that the firebomb reacted when it found a gas leak. There was a backdraft and it went straight at me and my sister. Only one of us made it. Someone found us, bringing me all the way to St. Matthew’s to see if I could be saved.”
And it hits me. Something I should’ve figured out a long, long time ago…
“It was you. Wasn’t it? You saved me.”
Chase squeezes me closer to him. “I’m so sorry, Hallie. The explosion hit when me and Kev were scouting two streets over. I ran, but Xandra… she got a full blast of it. There was no way she would make it… she was already gone. There was ash, and you… you were unconscious in the street, your arm already blistering from the shot of fire you got.” He leans in, pressing a kiss to the side of my hair. “I couldn’t help her, but I had to save you. I covered you with that jacket Xandra always wore and I picked you up. Kevin stayed behind to watch for any lurkers while I got you out of there. I carried you all the way to St. Matthew’s. You never stirred once.” His voice breaks. “I thought you weredead.”
“I never died,” I whisper. “I should have. Xandra was the strong one. She killed the lurkers. She wasn’t supposed to die.”
His voice breaks.
My heart shatters.
In an instant, I begin to tremble against him. The sobs I’ve been holding in for close to three months burst free of me like a torrent.
I guess, since I spent all of that time living as if I was my twin, I never got the chance to mourn Xandra—and with the sudden realization that she’s dead, I’m not, and Chase was the one to find us after the accident… Isob.
When Chase pulls me on top of him, no lust, just support as he lets me cry, I think it finally starts to sink in. Once again, there’s no turning back now. The pretense is over. Everything makes so much more sense now. Why I woke up and couldn’t deny my attraction to Chase and why, no matter how far I pushed him away, he never got too far. Why Jack called me “Allie”—so close to “Hallie”—before refusing to let me go after lurkers on my own. Why I could sense the monsters approachingonce I did, and why I felt so terribly guilty after killing that youngling.
I’m not Alexandra Holden. I’m Hallie Holden—but what does that mean anymore?
Chase rests his chin on the top of my head, holding me close. I don’t pull away, though the last three months are a hard habit to break. Deep down, I still feel like this iswrong. Chase belongs to a Hallie that doesn’t exist anymore.
I love him. I do.
But I’m not sure that can be enough.
Not like I tell him that. And when he starts murmuring against my hair, I just let him.
“I love you, baby. I love you so fucking much. They can’t keep us here. We’ll take the trip to the Grave… we’ll go home to Jack… and we’ll get married at St. Matthew’s. No more waiting. We get married, okay?”
“We already are,” I whisper.
He pauses. “East Jersey?”
I nod.
“Hell yeah, we’re married. You’re my wife. I told you, baby. It’s you and me. Hallie and Chase. We’ll get out of this. You’ll see. Together, there isn’t anything we can’t do.”
He sounds so sure. Damn it. My heart breaks all over again. I just got him back, but how long will it last? The Doctor is another monster. He tore me apart, ripping open my psyche, making me remember who I’m supposed to be—and he did it because I insisted I was Alexandra Holden and my vitals said I wasn’t.
Chase’s showed that he’d been bitten by a lurker. They want to reverse the antidote.
They want to take him from me.
Xandra would’ve been strong enough to stop them.
I’m not sure that Hallie is.
