“But I liked trying to get you to smile, because you’re always so serious, and out of all my guys, you made me feel the safest.”
My chest swells. I love knowing that I did my job right, because she should always feel safe with me.
“All the guys are fine to have around. Except the one, you know.”
“The traitor.”
She nods. “Richie’s been with me forever. Others come and go. But you were my favorite.”
“I wasn’t exactly nice to you.”
“You were a dick.” She pulls away, laughing, and wipes the last of her tears away, and I breathe a sigh of relief because I donotwant her to cry. “Barking orders, grumpy face. You’d never answer my personal questions.”
“I’m not there to—”
“—‘be your friend,’” she says, doing a horrible impression of me, and then she smiles, and I feel my own lips twitch. “Yeah, yeah. But so much changed after you left.”
Sobering, I pick her up and carry her into the living room and cuddle up with her on the couch.
“I never took you for a cuddler.”
“If you’re here, I’m a cuddler. What changed, baby?”
“I made it clear to Chelsea that there would be no more acting out on my part. No more games. And I was in such a depression for so long that—”
“What do you mean?” My voice is hard as fuck, and the anger pushes through me again.
“It had been a lot, Gideon. Not nearly as much as what you went through, but it overwhelmed me. And you were gone. Even thoughyou weren’t there to be my friend, you were a safe presence, and you got hurt because of me.”
I’m shaking my head, but she continues.
“You were there because ofme. If I didn’t exist, you wouldn’t have been there.”
“That’s bullshit, and you know it.”
“I went back to college that fall. I graduated early because I actually hated college, got my own place, dated Howey the idiot for a while. I was already going to break up with him, but then we were at a party, things got heated, and he hit me. Richie had him on the ground so fast. It was quite impressive.”
“Howey’s lucky he isn’t dead.”
And he still might end up that way.
“I guess all I’m trying to say is, I’m not that girl anymore. Actually, I don’t think I waseverthat girl. Therapy probably would have helped, and maybe I should still look into it. I’ve never talked about it with anyone until I came here.”
I scowl. I was able to talk to a therapist, and although I haven’t told Ry and Willow everything because it’s classified information, I’ve been able to talk about my feelings with them.
Lena has had no one.
“You can always talk to me, baby.”
“I’m just so relieved that you’re okay. That you have this great place, and a career you love. That you didn’t lose the leg.”
I almost did.It was touch and go there for a little while.
“It occurs to me that I don’t know what you do for a living.” I frown down at her and drag my fingertip down her soft cheek. “What did you major in in college? What do you do now?”
“I was a fine art major with a minor in finance. Which was a big waste of time. I’m not allowed to work as a financial advisor.”
“Why the fuck not?”
