That’s probably because she was sleeping like a normal person would be. I still haven’t figured out if what I heard was actually real or just a figment of my very tired and overactive imagination. I decide to go with the former for both of our sakes. “Yeah, it was just a crazy nightmare.”
Her lips pucker with concern and she reaches out and rubs her hand over mine. “What was it about?”
I swallow thickly. I don’t want to lie, but I also don’t want to give voice to whatever the hell that was last night. Vague is probably what’s best. “I just thought I heard something.”
Her head tilts to the side as she studies me. I feel a light tingle that starts at the base of my spine, just like last night. Suddenly, I stand up from the couch, the throw blanket that was across my legs drops to the floor.
Mom straightens on the couch. “What is it, what’s wrong?”
I can’t think, I can barely breathe. I shake my head tightly, just a minuscule movement as I walk stiff-legged towards the kitchen. Just as the tingling starts to travel up my spine, I feel a cold sensation move across my body which stops me in my tracks. Every hair on my body rises simultaneously. The tingling has intensified and is running up and down my spine like a live wire, freezing me in place and holding me captive.
“Millie!”
I let out a loud sigh of relief that it’s my mom’s voice instead of who I heard last night.
“What’s going on? Is it your heart?”
Her panic is enough to snap me out of the weird trance. At first I reach for my heart, placing my hand right on my chest above it. I feel the steady beat for one second, two seconds, then my hand is flying to my neck, instantly finding the spot that brings me somuch peace and comfort. I close my eyes and count those beats too.
“Baby, are you okay?”
I realize I haven’t answered her, and I know she’s got to be freaking out. “I’m okay. I don’t know what happened. I just feel—weird.” That’s the best adjective I can come up with, as lame as it is.
She comes up to me and wraps her hands around my face, scanning it slowly for any cracks in the thin armor I’m trying to put up.
“We should call Dr. Richards, schedule a checkup.”
I shake my head, “No, no I’m fine. I promise.” Part of me is resisting because I don’t want to face the possibility that something might be wrong and the other part begging for some kind of explanation.
“Just to be safe. Your six-month follow-up is coming up soon anyway. Two birds, one stone, right?” She still hasn’t let go of my face, but I don’t mind. I’m soaking up every bit of comfort she provides because my heart is still racing. Thankfully the tingling has stopped and the cold chill disappeared just as quickly as it appeared.
Maybe she’s right. It wouldn’t hurt to check everything out and make sure my labs aren’t abnormal or anything like that. Maybe I have a vitamin deficiency or something.
Vitamin deficiencies don’t make you hear things that aren’t there, Millie.I tell my pesky subconscious to shut the hell up because I’m willing to entertain any other possibility running through my head right now instead of the one that’s been playing on slow repeat since I first heard that voice.
The one that says the other night while I was driving, the episode in the ice cream shop, my dreams that feel so real but aren’t my memories, and the voice are all connected somehow.
And thatsomehowhas something to do with my heart.
“Sure, okay. Maybe he has something available this week.”
Her smile shows her instant relief at my acceptance. “Good, that’s great. I’ll call them this morning.” She leans forward and places a soft kiss on my forehead just like Dad did last night.
It isn’t until I’m back in my room after breakfast that I realize I never turned my phone back on from last night. When I turn it on, I’m overwhelmed with a barrage of text messages. All from one handsome but broody hockey player.
Rowan: I’m sorry.
Rowan: Like really sorry. I shouldn’t have questioned you like that.
Rowan: It wasn’t my place and I feel terrible.
Rowan: Can you forgive me?
Rowan: I promise it won’t happen again….
Rowan: Daredevil? You there?
Rowan: I can understand if you’re mad and need some space.
