My laugh comes up from the depths of my stomach. Every cell in my body feels the vibration of it. “That’s what we’re doing now? Quoting fuckingt-shirts?”
His smile is one of relief. “Figured why the hell not at this point, brother.”
Maybe he’s right. At this point,why the hell not?I’ll take anything I can to get rid of these intrusive and unwanted thoughts. I feel better, at least. The heaviness on my chest has lifted some.
“I’ll do whatever it takes to help get you out of this funk and get your luck back, Rowan. And I mean that," Luka says in anguish. I know he’s been worried, and I know that he feels guilt over the fact that he wasn’t the one with Lily that fateful day.
He told me one night that he couldn’t let go of the thought that if it had been him with her that day, then I wouldn’t be going through what I was going through. Of course, I told him that I didn’t blame him one bit for any of this shit and he shouldn’t feel guilty.
Whether it was fate or Emily, Lily’s long-dead ancestor, or something else entirely, I do know that this was my fate to bear. I think the whole reason I don’t have my luck anymore is because I used all of it up to save Lily. A trade I would make over and over for my best friend. Lily is his soulmate, and if something had happened to her, I know he wouldn’t be the same man standing in front of me today.
No matter how fucking off or unlucky I may feel or be now, there is no question in my mind that it was a sacrifice worth making.
“Thank you,” I say suddenly, the enormity of the situation hitting me square in the chest. It’s like I’ve been looking at it all so clinically and selfishly. Now I can see it all so clearly. I can see what he could have lost. My woes pale in comparison.
My apology must catch him off guard because his eyebrows pull together in confusion. “For what?”
“For putting up with my sorry ass. I promise to do better.” I feel like a complete asshole. Like this whole time I’ve made it about myself and everything that I’ve felt like I lost when I haven’t even stopped to really consider what he could have lost. I feel like a pansy taking so long to realize this shit.
“I should be thanking you. Without you, she wouldn’t be here.”
I’m already shaking my head. “You don’t have to thank me for that. I only did what you would do for me.” And I know down tomy core that he would. An image of Millie, with her bright smile and wild brown curls, pops into my head, like my subconscious is trying to tell me something.
He nods his head in confirmation. “In a heartbeat, brother.Always.”
I slap him on the shoulder, suddenly feeling choked up and at a loss for words. A sense of peace finally descends upon my heart. The first sign of healing I’ve felt since the accident.
“Cap! You ready?”
I look up to find Aiden and the other boys watching and waiting for me to lead them to victory. And I can say without a shadow of a doubt when I answer them this time, I mean every word, “I was born ready! This game is fucking ours, boys! Now, let’s go kick some ass!”
“Hell yeah!” the guys scream in unison as we all hit the ice, ready to annihilate the Wolverines into smithereens.
I skate up to center ice for the next face-off, and it’s the most confident I’ve felt this entire season. I’m a well-oiled machine, my muscles coiled tight and ready to strike. When the puck hits the ice, I let my body take over my mind and do what I do best: win fucking hockey games.
And that’s exactly what we do. Another win to bring the Kings of Hart U one step closer to the championships.
Hell yeah. I’m back, baby.
Chapter Fifteen
Rowan
Aiden comes up next to me in the locker room. I’m still peeling my gear off because every time I go to change, I get stopped by someone else to talk about the game. Coach had me talking to reporters right after the game ended.
Which is pretty standard for the captain. I’ve become so used to doing it; it feels like second nature. I’ve never had a problem talking to people, press included. And luckily, none of that changed after the accident.
So, by the time I got in here, half the boys were already in the showers. I look over and notice Aiden is still in full gear like me. “What’s up?” I ask.
Aiden hesitates, then says, “I was wondering if you had a chance to talk to coach yet?”
I immediately feel guilty over the fact that I haven’t had time yet. “Not yet, but I was planning on trying to catch him tonight before he heads out.”
Aiden looks relieved, and that makes me feel like shit even more. I know he’s stressed about all of it. “I appreciate you, Cap. I know you don’t have to do this, but—” he fumbles with his words, “It really means a lot to me,” he finally finishes.
I reach out and clap him on his shoulder. “You don’t have to thank me. You’re family, and that’s what we do for family.”
He chokes up a little before bowing his head. “I’m kind of waiting to hear if Coach is good with our plan before talking to my dad. I didn’t want to put the cart before the horse, you know?”
