I clasp his other shoulder, “Always.”
Wyatt adds, “Anytime, man. Let me know how I can help too.”
Aiden swallows uncomfortably before bowing his head. “Thanks, guys.”
“Get out of here with that shit. I’ll let you know after I talk to Coach,” I say.
Luka and I let go as Aiden backs away, “Will do.”
An uncomfortable silence fills the night air after Aiden walks off, leaving just me, Luka and Wyatt. I wish shit wasn’t this weird between all of us. I wish I knew how to let go of all the pent-up anger. Problem is, it doesn’t really have anything to do with Wyatt, not anymore.
It has everything to do with this uneasiness that seems to have taken up residence in my gut. It started with Lily’s accident and it has grown into something darker, and more pronounced. It feels like it has its claws in me and the harder I fight it the deeper it sinks into my skin.
The only time I don’t feel the sharp bite of its nails are when I’m with her. Millie St. James soothes the low constant ache, a balm for my soul.
Wyatt’s the first to break the silence by clearing his throat and saying, “Better get going, Stella’s waiting. Let meknowhow I can help.” He looks at Luka instead of me.
Luka nods and smacks him on the shoulder before saying, “We will. Have a good night.”
As soon as he’s out of earshot Luka asks me, “You alright man?”
I look over at him, “Yeah, why?” I ask, defensively. I’m so tired of everyone asking me if I’m alright. Millie doesn’t ask me that though, it’s one of the many reasons I like being around her. I don’t know how to describe it because it’s not like I feel like my old self around her. I think that Rowan is long gone but I don’t feel the pressure to be him, like I do around my friends. It feels like I can be whoever I want to be, this new version of me that I’m still getting to know.
“You just—” he must see the expression on my face because he changes tactics reallyquicklyand drops the subject. “Millie seems nice.”
“She is.”
He laughs, “That all yougonnagive me?”
“What? She is. I’m agreeing,” I say with a smirk. Relieved that he dropped theinquisitionof my wellbeing so quickly.
“You like her?” he probes.
My answer comes easily but guarded. The need to protect whatever the hell is brewing between Millie and me is so strong it almost knocks me off my feet, even from my best friend. “I do but it’s not like that. We’re just friends.”
Luka raises his eyebrows in suspicion. “Didn’t look like just friends to me. Seemed to me that you couldn’t stop touching her.”
I bristle at him calling me out. The last thing I need is him up my ass about finding a girl because he thinks it will help me get over all the shit from this past year. I don’t need him to think this is anything more than what it is.A friendship. “It’s the truth man. I like her as a friend. Nothing more.” I swallow thickly, my declaration feels like a dirty lie on my tongue.
He doesn’t look like he’s buying it. “Right and Mother Teresa wasn’t asaint,” he says, sarcastically.
“Whatever man, doesn’t matter if you believe it or not but it’s the truth.”
"Luka!You ready?" Lily hollers across the parking lot, where she's still standing and talking to Stella.
I nod my head, "Go be with your girl. I'll catch you later."
He watches me closely for a moment, the intensity of his stare is unnerving but I refuse to cave. I said what I said, and I stand by it.
"See you, brother."
It isn't until he walks off do I finally let go of the breath I was holding.Hell, maybe he's right.As soon as I have the thought, I quickly dismiss it.
Millie is just a friend and that’s exactly where I need her to stay.
Where it’s safe.
Where we can’t get hurt.
