“It’s not that we don’t trust you, honey. It’s the guy I don’t trust.”
“He’s nice, and this isn’t a date. He didn’t ask me out. I mean, if you want to get technical, I’m the one that asked him out.”
“Well, which is it? Is it a date or is it not a date?”Dad asks.
I tilt my head to think about his question. I don’t think it’s a date, that wasn’t my intention when I asked him to go with me. Even though I don’t hate the idea of it being one either, it’s highly unlikely that a guy like Rowan Pierce agreed to go on a date with me. Nervous butterflies take flight in my stomach just from the thought of dating Rowan.“Not a date, I think.”
“Date aside, I’m more nervous about the bungee jumping part,”Mom says.
“I’m pretty nervous too. This is going to be the first time I get to mark something off my list, and that is pretty exciting.”I think back to all the things I’ve added to my list over the years,dreaming of a time when I could do those things. It feels surreal to finally be well enough that it’s even a possibility for me.
“I know how important this is to you, and you know we support you. I guess it’s always been a hypothetical notion, or in the distant future.”Mom swallows thickly before continuing,“But looks like the future is here.”
Her words are bittersweet. I feared I would never get the opportunity to start checking things off a list that I started when I was five years old in a hospital bed. I was a scared little kid who didn’t know if I’d live to see my next birthday. And deep down, I know my parents had the same fear.
Tonight is about so much more than a boy. Or a first date. This moment is more than monumental—it’s surreal, scary, and new.
“It is,” I say.
My father closes his eyes briefly, and when he opens them, I see moisture building in the corners.“Just promise us that you’ll be safe and smart.”
Mom is already dabbing at her left eye, and I hear a quiet sniffle. I can only imagine how hard this is for them. They have to learn to let go when, for my entire life, they’ve fought to hold on. I don’t envy their roles in this life because no matter how hard it was for me, it was ten times harder for them.
I will forever be in awe of their strength and resilience. Their unwavering support and love are what have gotten us here today, with me whole and healthy.
“I promise.”
“Okay,” Mom whispers.
Dad nods his head and says,“We love you.”
Mom smiles, but it’s watery and shaky.“With all our hearts.”
“I love you, too.So much.”
We spend the rest of dinner talking about all the things I’ve added to my list over the years—which ones sound the most fun or realistic, and which ones will be harder to pull off. Dad wantsto take me to my first concert and rodeo. Mom wants to scuba dive with me.
I don’t think I’ve smiled this hard in a long time.
Even when I fall asleep hours later, I still have a smile on my face.
“Lucy! Come here! Look what I found!”
I bet it’s a lizard or something, Anna always gets so excited over the littlest things. I finally make it over to where she’s standing in front of a tree, as I approach I hear this weird rattling sound. The hairs on the top of my arm stand on end.
I scream as soon as I see it. Then I reach for Anna’s arm, yanking her back and away from the snake that’s curled up on top of the leaves on the forest floor. “What are you doing?! That thing could bite you!”
Anna laughs and shakes out of my hold. My palms instantly get clammy because she’s not acting scared enough, quite the opposite, she seems fascinated.
“Relax it’s not poisonous.”
My question is barely above a whisper because I’m terrified one loud noise or wrong move is going to have that thing lunging towards my best friend. And then I’m going to have to figure out how to drag her limp, snake bit, body out of here to get help. “How do you know that?”
“My dad told me the brown ones with those kinds of stripes are harmless, they are just meant to look like the poisonous ones.”
None of her answers are computing in my terrified thirteen year old brain. “You can’t be sure, can you? It’s not like you’re an expert!” I half yell, half whisper because panic is starting to overtake all of my senses. I just want her to back away slowly so we can get the hell out of here.
“Sissy,” She sasses but at least she’s stopped her forward progression. She’s still entirely too close for my liking but thesnake would really have to lunge for her to reach her and that has a big sigh of relief releasing from my chest.
