I’m hoping that Lucy speaking to her brings her some amount of peace and closure. I think in time it will.
“Don’t be mad at her, Rowan. She wasn’t trying to hurt me.”
“I’m not— I mean I am. So fucking mad, Millie, but how can I be mad at a ghost?” he chuckles incredulously. “For her to put you at risk like that— I can’t let that go.”
“She was desperate to help her friend. Don’t you think you would do that for Luka,for me, if you had the chance?”
“Listen here, don’t be going and making sense or anything. Maybe I just wanna be mad.” He smiles, his eyes softening ever so slightly as his fingers run through my hair gently. “All I can say is I hope it was worth it.”
I think back to Anna’s expression just before she left my room. I saw relief in her eyes, and I think a renewed sense of hope in her heart that maybe everything would be okay. That she will be okay. “I think it was.”
As we lie there in that hospital bed together, I can’t help but think that if it wasn’t for Lucy, I’m not sure I would be here today, alive and well. Happy and in love.
Gratitude fills my chest, and in that moment, I make a promise to myself.
A promise I will live well.
Happy.
Devoted.
Joyful.
Grateful.
Whole.
Loved.
All with him.
His fingers slide down my cheek until they are right under my chin. He tilts my chin up and then leans forward to kiss me softly. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Epilogue
Rowan
“You ready?” I hear her voice carry over the wind and chatter behind us. When I look over I find her eyes on me and a wide smile on her face.
“What happens if I say no?” I laugh, nervously.
“We step down off the ledge and try again another day.” She’s still smiling, like it wouldn’t bother her one bit to not do this, but I can also see the excitement in her eyes.
“Maybe I’m not ready," I say more to myself than her, but she hears me anyway.
“But what if you are?” she asks in return. There’s no judgement in her voice, only love and affection.
I don’t have time to react to the question before the man in front of us starts counting down from ten. Millie is about twentyfeet away from me, further down the bridge. The plan is to jump together.
Somewhere along the way her bucket list becameourbucket list. And I’ll be damned if she checks one off the list without me.
Don’t be a pussy, Rowan.
“THREE, TWO, ONE!” And there it is, I don’t give myself a second to change my mind.She’s not doing this alone.My foot steps off the ledge and suddenly it feels like I’m floating, but only for a split second. Then it feels like I’m falling, the air passing by me so quickly that if I didn’t already have my eyes shut, I would have slammed them closed.
But that isn’t right, I want to see her.
