“You was beefing with some bitches on the inside? Why they was fuckin with you like that?” he wanted to know, continuing to dig for information that I wasn’t willingly giving up. He literally had to pull this shit out of me.
“One of the main girls that I was beefing with, her name is Camryn. Everybody calls her Cam though. She used to have a big brother named Civic. The two of them were thick as thieves, just how I was with my brother. It’s been rumored for years that my brother killed her brother. I used to ask Roman about that shit, but he told me that he didn’t do it. I believed him because the kind of relationship that I had with my brother, he wouldn’t lie to me about no shit like that. I guess she’s believing what the streets saying, so she has it made up in her mind that my brother killed her brother. She found out that I was booked at the same jail that she was in, and she pretty much fucked with me the entire time that I was locked up. I had issues with other womenwhile I was there as well, but nothing was as bad as the shit that I had going on with Cam,” I shared with him, and he nodded.
“Damn. Since she was so close with her brother like that, do you think that it was her that killed Roman?” Dolo asked me, talking about my brother.
“I can’t prove it. We never found my brothers killer. I don’t think it was her though. I feel like she would have said it to me,” I let him know.
“When she supposed to come home?” he asked me.
“Soon. She made sure she let me know that she didn’t have much time left, and that she was going to kill me as soon as she touched down in Miami. I really have been trying to stay on the straight and narrow, but when I find out that that bitch home, I gotta get to her before she gets to me. She going to fuck around, and kill my ass,” I let him know.
“Yeah aight. I’ll kill that bitch myself before she gets the chance to even run up on you. What kind of girl is she? She prissy, or she rough around the edges like you?” he asked, trying to be funny, so I reached my hand up, and I pushed him, and he just laughed.
“She’s manly. She think she’s a nigga. She got a short cut, her voice deep and everything, so when you look at her, you would really think that she’s a man. I ain’t shit like her. She likes bitches. I may be a little rough around the edges, but I always knew that I wasn’t gay,” I let him know, and he smirked.
The fact that he smirked just let me know that he was going to say some off-the-wall shit to me, that I probably didn’t want to hear.
“Shit, you made it clear to me late last night and early this morning that your ass wasn’t gay. I keep thinking about that shit, Bean. Your pussy so fuckin good,” he said, and I groaned, pulling myself down on the bed, lying on my back, and placing my hands over my eyes.
I heard him laugh, and then there was a dip in the bed, and before I knew it, he was on top of me, each of his knees on either side of me. He pried my hands from my eyes, forcing me to look at him. He placed my hands over my head, and I sat here, really trying to fight with myself and remove the goofy smile that was on my face, but I couldn’t. It was still there.
“Why you acting like you’re embarrassed about that shit? You having regrets? Be honest with me,” he went on to say.
This man was so beautiful, that I couldn’t help but keep the goofy look on my face. His shirt was off, but he had on joggers that were hanging off his waist a little bit. All his tattoos were exposed, and you could see scratches that I left on his chest, and neck. He put me through it last night, and you could look at the way his upper body was bruised, that I had been fighting for my fuckin life.
I cried losing my virginity. All that tough shit had gone right out of the window. I was a true girl last night. When it started, I hated everything about it because the pain was unbearable, but once he opened me up, and I relaxed, I began to enjoy it. So many things I don’t even remember. I don’t remember when I fell asleep, but I do remember when I woke up, and I went out on the balcony. I do remember him waking me up while I was out on the balcony, and I showed him my bruises, only to be fucked again. I didn’t have a clue how I’d gotten back in bed, or how long I had been sleeping because I still didn’t know what time it was.
“I’m not having any regrets. I am embarrassed though. Dolo, this stuff is new to me,” I was honest with him, and my confession made him smile.
“But you don’t have shit to be embarrassed about, baby. You did what you were supposed to do. I’ll never forget last night. You could have given your virginity to any other nigga in the world, but you chose me. I won’t take that for granted. I’ll belying if I told you that I was going to be this perfect man. A perfect man don’t exist, but I ain’t going to fuck around on you, Riot. I mean that. I could tell that what we shared last night wasn’t an easy decision for you. I’ll be fucked up to get the pussy and then fuck off with other bitches. You’ll have every right to kill me because that’ll be fucked up on my part,” he confessed.
“Remember you said that. If I catch you with a bitch, I’m killing you, and her. I gave you multiple warnings before we even crossed that line,” I talked shit, which was my specialty.
“Yeah aight. Let’s go again. We got some time to spare before your massage,” he said, ready to go for my robe, but I reached my hand up, stopping him because I wanted to say something to him before we started.
“When we get back to Miami, I’m going to make an appointment, so that I can get on birth control. I may not get on the pill because I don’t think I’ll be consistent with taking it. I want to try the IUD. Ari was telling me about it awhile back. She was only telling me because that’s what she has. At the time, I wasn’t sexually active, so I didn’t care about what she was saying, but now that I am having sex, I want to be on something that’ll prevent a pregnancy. I know we’ve been using protection, but I want extra protection. I don’t want kids, Dominique. My mind isn’t changing when it comes to that,” I was firm when I said this, looking him in his eyes because I wanted him to feel me, and believe the things that I was saying to him.
There were things in my life where there was always room for me to grow, or to see it from another perspective. As much as I hated a lot of men, that was always an area where I would be just a little open for the right man to come along and change my perspective. I was open on other things like learning how to drive, possibly learning how to cook, and things like that, but there was no open area when it came to children. I simply didn’t want any, and I just wanted to be clear on that because I didn’twant me, and Dolo to build something, and then five years from now, he wants a baby, and I knew that I wasn’t going to be willing to give it to him.
“I don’t expect your mind to change when it comes to that, baby. You told me early on that you didn’t want children. I love kids, but with the way we living, kids just don’t make sense for us. I wouldn’t have pursued you if I knew you wanted to be a mommy one day. It wouldn’t be fair for us to go into this, knowing that we don’t align when it comes to children. We on the same page though, so it’s no problem. I support you getting an IUD. Say for instance that shit don’t work, and you do get pregnant, what you going to do?” he asked me.
“If I say the real answer, you’ll get mad at me?” I asked, trying to feel him out before I said it.
“Nah. All I ever want is for you to keep it real with me,” he responded, and I nodded.
“I would get an abortion,” I told him the truth.
“Aight. We can shake on that. No kids. I ain’t tripping about that. You took one ride with me, and niggas shot up the whole fuckin car. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if we had a kid of our own, in the backseat, and one of those bullets came flying in, and hit one of them. Maybe in another world, like if you come back an innocent schoolteacher, and I’m a doctor or some shit. Then we could have kids,” he said, and I laughed, while picking my arms up, so that I could wrap them around his neck.
“I’m not a schoolteacher, but I feel like I am innocent. You don’t think I’m innocent?” I asked him, cocking my head to the side, waiting to hear what his response was going to be.
“You move dope with your nigga for a living. Ain’t shit innocent about you, baby,” he threw in, making me chuckle, and I dropped it from there.
Dolo removed the robe that I was wearing, throwing it on the side of me, and then he walked over to the nightstand thatwas on his side of the room, pulled out the top drawer, so that he could take out some condoms, and once he had it, he walked back over to me, tending to me.
He’d already made it clear to me that we were pushed for time, so he didn’t take me through all the extra shit that he did last night. He just leaned in, started kissing me, stimulating my nipples, getting me wet, and the second his fingers touched my pussy, I started releasing moans. I was grinding my body into the bed, and my pussy got soaked. My body still flinched, and I suffered a little bit during his initial strokes, but once he started slowly stroking me, taking his time with me, I was able to adjust to the feel of him again, and there we were, fuckin again.
We went at it for a little over thirty minutes. I would have sex, and then the only thing I would want to do next was lay down and take my ass to sleep. I tried to do that this time, but Dolo made me get up, telling me that I needed to get ready for my massage.
