Lucy’s memories slowly came back to her. And not just those right before she passed out, but the days before it.
She remembered their fight. She remembered the promise she had made to herself. Most of all, she remembered how much it had hurt when Marcus had once again gone back on his words.
Good sense and self-preservation told her not to trust him. Not again. Not after all that he had done. But she was feeling weak. Emotionally fragile. Also, and this was what truly resounded within her, she could see with her own eyes the truth of Marcus’ words.
Even as he spoke, she felt James twist in her arms and try and reach for Marcus again. She saw him glance at the baby, worry behind his eyes, a desire to reach out and take him. He wasn’t playing at being a father, and he wasn’t pretending for her sake. Finally, Marcus was doing as he had always said that he would. Finally, he was being a father.
Slowly, she handed James back, and Marcus took him immediately.
“He likes you,” she said.
“As I like him,” Marcus said. “Something I wish I had learned sooner about myself.”
“You had plenty of opportunities for that,” she said with a soft sigh.
“Opportunities wasted,” Marcus said with obvious shame. “But I am done running from what I know in my heart I want now, Lucy. These last few days, they have shown me who I can be, when I am not so scared to admit it. They have shown me what I want.”
“And what do you want?”
“I want you.” He held her eyes now, the shame gone completely. “I want James. I want you both in my life, whatever that might look like. I want a family, Lucy.”
Lucy knew it was too early to take Marcus at his word just yet. They had been here before, multiple times, and always he pulled away just when she thought that he was ready to finally accept who he was.
This time, it also felt different. Just seeing him with James was proof of the difference from the last time he had said these same words to her. He was trying, was the point. What was more, it looked to her eyes that it was having a real effect.
“I want to believe you.” She held his hand and looked right at him. “Just as I don’t want to give you a reason to pull away from me again.”
“I won’t –”
“But you must understand where I am coming from,” she spoke over him, her voice still soft. It hurt to talk, she realized, just asit hurt to do much of anything. “It will take time, Marcus, before I am ready.”
“I understand.”
“That does not mean I do not want you to keep trying,” she assured him. “Just as I promise to do the same.” She was sure to smile then, so he could see the truth in her words, and so he might feel it in his heart.
“We have the rest of our lives, Lucy,” he said. “And if it takes that long to prove to you that I am capable of change, then that it how long it will take.”
She laughed… and then coughed. “Hopefully, it won’t take that long.”
For a moment, they simply looked at one another. The atmosphere between them was easy, it was gentle and companionable. Most of all, it was real. There was no sense that Marcus did not want to be by her side right now, and no indication that he was having second thoughts.
He does want this, I know it. I just pray he knows it too.
“How about you tell me what happened,” she started then. “How long has it been? And how…” She exhaled, the energy in her body think and weak. “How am I here?”
“It has been three days,” he said, his voice cracking. “We do not know what happened. You were with your stepsister, and she claims that you just collapsed. The doctor thinks that you ingested something, some sort of sleeping agent. Although the dose was such that it was almost lethal.”
“Ingested…” Lucy trailed off as it came to her.
She remembered it now. Amelia coming to see her. How nervous she had been, how she had fidgeted and worried. Lucy had thought at the time that it was to do with her fear of betraying her mother, paired with the belief that Lucy would not want to forgive her.
And then there was the tea had insisted that Lucy drink…
“It was Amelia,” she sighed, pain in her heart. “She must have put something in my tea.”
Marcus’ expression hardened. “Why would she do that?”
“Oh, I have my suspicions,” Lucy said. “Even if I cannot believe them fully. She and I have always been combative. But this… I do not think she meant to kill me.”
