Just as she expected, the question made Marcus look uncomfortable.
“I do not know if that’s such a good idea, Lucy.”
“Why not?”
“Because… I do not need to give you a reason.” He cleared his throat. “I have work.”
“You just said you were not busy,” she said.
He cleared his throat again. “You confuse my words. I am not busy in a general sense, but where my work is concerned, there is always something to do.”
She looked at him flatly. “That doesn’t make any sense.”
“You don’t want me to come” he said. “I assure you, that you and James will have a far better time if I am not there.”
“I assure you that we will not.”
“Picnics are not really my thing.”
She rolled her eyes. “It is not about the picnic, Marcus. It is about spending time with James. I just know he will love it. And I know he will love it more if you are there. He wants you there.”
“He is one, Lucy. He will not know the difference.”
Had this been two days ago, Lucy might have given in. But after their conversation last evening, she knew exactly what washolding Marcus back. Just as she knew that deep down, he wanted to come. She had to believe that.
“Marcus…” Slowly, she approached the table. “It is time that you understand that James is going to be in your life forever. He is because you made it so. You did the right thing in adopting him, but that is only half the battle.”
“That is why I married you,” he attempted. “To raise him.”
“No,” she countered. “That is what you have told yourself. But I know the true reason.”
“Which is…”
She stood on the opposite side of the table, folded her arms, and looked down at him with a soft, forgiving expression. “You have seen first hand what it is like to be raised in an emotionless home, one where mother and father alike care nothing for their children. You have seen it, you have lived it, and you do not want it for James.”
“I –”
“You want him to have a family,” she spoke over him. “That is why you married me. You want him to have the life that you did not. Now, this picnic might not seem like a big deal, and maybe it isn’t such a thing.” She laughed. “But it is a step in the right direction, and you will be surprised what such a small thing will do.”
He did not look convinced, his head bowed, his conscience fighting itself.
“Small gestures,” she said. “Intimate moments. Do you remember? That is how you show someone that you love them.”
She spoke softly but her heart raced. While her words were meant to describe Marcus’ relationship with James, Lucy could not escape their other meaning. She just hoped that Marcus did not notice…
Either way, as she stood over him, as she fixed him in a pleading stare, she saw her words take the desired effect. His expression softened. His fidgeting lessened. And finally, the hint of a smile touched the side of his mouth, and those walls started to lower…
“You really think he will notice if I am there?”
“He will,” she said. “As will I, for that matter.”
That did it. Those final words and Marcus relaxed such that Lucy could feel it across the table and throughout the room. He had always wanted this, she was sure, and all he needed was a firm push. That final confirmation that he wasn’t doing anything wrong, and that this here was the right path to walk.
“Tomorrow?” he asked her.
“Tomorrow,” she confirmed.
“I will check my schedule, but I am sure I will be able to make it.”
She beamed, wanting him to see it. “I look forward to it. And Marcus, thank you. This means so much… for James, I mean.”
“Of course.” He looked right at her, his meaning clear. “For James.”
Lucy left the room quickly after that, needed because she felt her chest starting to flush. Where tomorrow was indeed meant for Marcus and James, she too was excited to see what it might do for her own relationship with her husband.
After all, was that not what this was about? Lucy thought the world of James, she knew now ghat she would be there for him always, just as she knew that both their lives would be better if Marcus was a part of it.
If this marriage was somehow to transform into something real, this here was the first step. And Lucy knew now that she wished to take it.
