CHAPTER 19
It was no surprise that Lucy woke in a glorious mood. The morning sun shone across her face, and she felt as if it was made specifically for her.
Once she was awake and dressed, she did as she always did. First, she checked on James. In the morning, Helga and Margaret looked after James, feeding him, and keeping him busy, but Lucy had gotten into the habit of joining them for short periods, just because she wanted James to become familiar with her.
“You’re in a rather good mood,” Helga noted as Lucy swept into the nursery.
“Oh, am I?” She tried her best to appear normal, but the smile on her face refused to go away. “I just slept well.”
“Is that right…” Helga’s eyes flicked to Margaret, who wore a coy smirk as she fed James.
“What?” Lucy demanded. “What was that look?”
“Look? I do not know what you mean.” Helga pretended to fuss over James’ hair, humming to herself as she did. “Although, I did hear tales about a late-night accident in the kitchen. Something to do with a smashed glass and a rather excitable mistress of the manor.”
Lucy’s cheeks turned bright pink.
“Or maybe it is just gossip,” Helga continued, her coy smile matching Margaret’s. “The staff here tend to speak nonsense.” She raised a knowing eyebrow at Lucy.
“Nonsense…” Lucy nodded vaguely. “That’s exactly what it is.”
She left the two women and James after that, mostly because she knew that if she stayed for much longer then she would completely give herself away. Not that Lucy was embarrassed by what happened. It was more that she wished to remain cautious.
All we did was have an honest conversation. It is nothing to be embarrassed over! And certainly nothing I should avoid speaking of.
Lucy also knew that was less than half true.
Had it just been their conversation, then she doubted her mood would be nearly this piqued. Oh sure, she would feel thrilled, notto mention excited for what was to come. But the conversation was only half of the equation.
It was what happened after that her mind continued to stray toward…
Lucy sat herself down at the breakfast table, ignoring the looks the valet gave her, as well as the food that was served. Her eyes flicked continuously to the doorway, expecting Marcus to walk through at any moment.
What should I say when he arrives? Should I draw attention to what almost happened? Or is it better to ignore it? What would he expect? I do not want to scare him!
The kiss they almost shared… that was what Lucy could not stop thinking about. All she had wanted until then was companionship, a sense that this marriage might be heading in the right direction. And she had refused to consider the very real possibility that love or romance might grow between them – they were nowhere near that stage yet!
But that near kiss…
Her heart fluttered just to think about it. And the skin on her hand, right where he had touched her, grew warm. It prickled, then rippled up her arm, and her entire chest flushed so that she could hardly breathe.
They had not kissed, obviously. But they almost had. Was it not for the interruption, Lucy had no doubt that the night would have ended with her and Marcus kissing on the floor in the kitchen. And while once, such a thing was not something that she yearned for, nor did it truly appeal to her, the more she thought about it, the more her body reacted, the more she was forced to face the truth: she wanted that kiss.
Needless to say, she was both nervous and excited about when Marcus would join her for breakfast.
However, as the minutes turned, as the hour dragged, and as her food turned cold on her plate, Lucy was forced to face the very real possibility that Marcus would not be joining her. And with this realization, she was forced to wonder if maybe the kiss they nearly shared was not nearly so consequential for him as it was for her.
What if I am reading too much into it? What if it scared him away? Fool, Lucy! And after things had gone so well… slow and steady was what was needed. Not a kiss!
Lucy finished her breakfast alone.
Then, she spent the late morning alone.
She had James to keep her busy, and for this she was grateful. But as he crawled on the floor, as he giggled and laughed, she was reminded again of yesterday and how close Marcus had come to finally accepting what she knew in her heart he wanted.
He was just so broken. And he refused to admit that being a father, that having a family, did not mean he would turn into his parents, nor would James suffer the same fate as he. Deep down, he wanted to believe this, Lucy had seen it in his eyes just last night. But getting him to accept it was another thing entirely.
Lucy spent all that late morning thinking on what to do.
