“That’s not an answer.”
“It is,” he said. “It’s just not the answer you wished to hear.”
“What do you mean to do?” Her voice hardened. “I will help where I can, Marcus. You know that I will. But this is not something you can guess and stumble your way through.” He could feel her looking at him, demanding his attention. “Well? Do you have an answer? This is not something that you can fix with a cold glare.”
Marcus refused to meet his sister’s eyes.
He stayed staring at the cot, as if to do so kept the baby inside calm and asleep. All the while his stomach twisted with guilt, because he knew that his sister was right, just as he had no idea what answer he might give her.
“You are trying to do the right thing,” she pressed. “And I admire it. But have you considered that the best way to honor Harry is to…” She hesitated, and Marcus was tense with the expectation of what she was about to say. “To give the baby away? To a family who can look after it. Who knows what they are doing.”
“That is not an option.”
“And why not?”
“You know why.”
“I know why you said,” she argued. “But that is not an answer. All I am suggesting is –”
“I hear what you are suggesting.” There was a growl in Marcus’ voice, anger brought because he and Honoria had engaged in this conversation already. The last time that they had done, it did not end well for his sister. “And might I make a suggestion of my own?” He tore his gaze from the cot and looked at his sister. When he did, she balked under the fury of his warning stare. “Do not raise this topic again with me, Honoria.”
“But –”
“Enough,” Marcus growled; it was a low rumble rising from his chest. “I hear what you have said, and I will take it into consideration. Let that be the end of it.” A final glare and he turned away.
This time, Honoria was wise enough not to argue. She was the only person in the world who might dare to do so, but even she knew that Marcus’ patience had its limits, just as she knew the price paid for testing them.
It won’t last. Another night like the last and she will raise the same points, which she is right to do. That’s the worst part of it. While I know in my heart this is the right path, I wish I knew how to walk it… if walking it is even possible.
The baby, which slept so soundly in the cot, did not belong to Marcus.
His name was James, the son of Harry, who was Marcus’ steward and one of his closest friends. Sadly, Harry had died just last week, taken by a coughing sickness brought on by thechange in seasons. He was not supposed to die… the doctors had assured Marcus that he would live… and then, one morning, he simply had not woken up.
Marcus was a man with few friends, so Harry’s death had hurt more than Marcus was willing to admit to anyone… even himself.
Worse, Harry had left behind a one-year-old son – the boy’s mother had died giving birth to the babe. Not knowing what to do, guilt ridden and desperate to honor his late friend, Marcus had elected to raise the boy as his own.
Just then, the baby coughed and both Marcus and Honoria froze. Thankfully, the baby did not wake up, and both breathed a sigh of relief.
“Shall I fetch someone?” Honoria asked. “Give you a chance to get some rest?”
“Who?” Marcus sighed. “I sent those who stayed up last night to bed. They need sleep.”
“As do you.”
“I am fine.”
She scoffed. “If this is fine, I would hate to see you weary. Little James is sleeping, Marcus. Go and get some rest.”
Marcus knew it was good advice, but he was not willing to take it just yet. As had been the case for the last six days, every waking thought was dedicated to James and how he planned on looking after the child that was not his.
Standing in the doorway, watching the sleeping child, he decided to give voice to these ideas. If for no other reason than to hear his sister agree with him for once, because he needed to hear it. For his own sake…so I know this is the right path. It must be.
“I will hire the best governess in England,” he said. “No matter the cost. The child will have everything he could ever desire and more.”
“Is that so?” Honoria asked.
“It is.”
