CHAPTER 15
“Ireally do not understand the question, Your Grace,” Helga said in her typical affable style; a warm smile that was just impossible to be angry with.
Marcus sighed, the frustration he felt having nothing to do with Helga and how little help she was. Rather, the frustration, even the anger, was on account of his own failings. “It is a perfectly simple question, Helga. And I thought that having spent as much time with her as you have, you would be able to answer.”
“I wish that I could,” Helga said with complete sincerity. She stood on the opposite side of his desk, her hands folded before her, looking the same as she always did. “But mostly, when we are together, we speak of James. She is eager to learn, I will give her that. And she does not shy away from asking questions. Most will be too stubborn to do so, not wanting to see a fool. But Her Grace always asks what she does not know.”
Marcus had known Helga his entire life. In fact, when he was just a child, she’d had a huge hand in raising him. His parents werenever going to, and his sister was too close to his own age to help, so the task fell on Helga.
For this reason, Marcus felt a close affinity with the elderly nanny, a woman who he might trust with his life, did it come to such a thing.
Right now, it was not his life that concerned him. Rather, what he needed of Helga was an answer to what should have been a simple question…although, if it was that simple, then why can I not answer it myself?
“You must have spoken about something other than child rearing,” Marcus asked calmly. “Did she at any point tell you what her interests were? What she liked to do in her spare time? Anything at all!”
Helga considered. “She may have…”
“Well?”
“Careful now,” she spoke to Marcus in a way that only a mother might be able to get away with. “My brain is not what it used to be. Give me a moment to think.”
He grimaced. “Sorry, Helga. Think away.”
It was yesterday when Honoria visited Marcus and had given him a severe talking to. One of her better ones, in fact.
Marcus had done his best to push it from his mind since then. He did not want to think about Lucy, and he certainly did not want to think about how bored and alone she must have felt while married to him. Until Honoria spoke to him, Marcus was happy to pretend that all was well, blissfully ignorant because that was easy.
He knew now how wrong he had been. And not just where Lucy was concerned, but his own failings, and that which he wanted from this marriage.
He was not ready to concede that this marriage might be more than what it was. And he was certainly not ready to admit that he wanted it to be such. But he knew too that this marriage was still in its infancy, and that to hope things continued to work the way they were from now until forever, was destined for failure.
This marriage might be a business contract, but is a part of business not keeping your partners satisfied and content? If they grow restless, that is a recipe for disaster than any good business would do well to avoid.
So it was that he had a brainwave… or he meant to have one. That was where Helga came into it.
“Come to think of it,” Helga began carefully. “Her Grace has mentioned horse riding quite a few times.”
“Horse riding? She enjoys horse riding?”
“She might do,” Helga said. “From memory, she said something to the effect of how freeing it was. Yes, that’s right…” She started to nod her head. “Nowhere else, she said, could one be truly free as they were on horseback.”
“Horse riding…” Marcus nodded along, an idea slowly forming in his mind’s eye. “Yes, that makes perfect sense.”
The fact that he had to ask for help was a perfect example of his own failings, how little he knew of his wife, and how distant this marriage was. But that he was willing to try and fix that failing…surely, that counts for something?
So it was that one hour later, not long after midday, Marcus asked Lucy to see him outside. He waited for her on the front driveway, and by the time that she arrived he was shaking with excited energy.
For all his talk of not caring about how Lucy, what she wanted, or even her feelings in general, it was all too clear that this was no longer the case.
“Lucy.” He greeted her with a slight smile. “Thank you for coming.”
“Coming to where?” She looked at him curiously, no doubt noting how strangely he was behaving. “It is just the front driveway.”
“On first appearances, perhaps. But…” His smile grew. “I have a surprise for you. Let us call it a gift.”
Her eyes narrowed with suspicion. “Is that so?”
“You sound surprised.”
