His wife, however, made such things next to impossible.
The more Marcus got to know Lucy, the more he realized how different she was to what he had thought. That first night, at the patronage, she had been rude and short tempered and even hostile. When they wed also, she was cantankerous and angry, blaming him for everything and acting with extreme antipathy toward him.
That, he now knew, was not her true self.
There was a playfulness to her. There was a mischievous side that he was not used to dealing with. Forever one who preferred to speak directly to the point, who used logic and soundreasoning where possible, Marcus saw in his wife someone who was anathema to this.
It wasn’t nearly so terrible as he might have thought.
“What of James?” Lucy asked. “Am I to bring him?”
“No,” Marcus answered her quickly. “The situation with James is… I am not ashamed of him, but it is a strange circumstance that I would prefer not to have to deal with. One problem is enough for now.”
“Probably for the best,” she agreed. “It is easy to care for him while Helga watches over, but I have not even left the nursery with him yet.” She laughed. “I think a trip to the park is beyond my scope of expertise.”
The excuse that Marcus gave was true enough, and he was able to tell himself this to not feel so rotten with guilt. But deep down, there was still that part of him that was unsure how to proceed with James. He was not the boy’s father, nor was he father material.
In some ways, it felt like he had married Lucy to pawn the boy off on her so that he would not have to deal with him at all.
But I am doing the right thing! Surely, adopting the child is enough? Yet why do I feel as if it is not? As if I am hiding from him… what else can I do?
Those were thoughts for later, a problem that Marcus hoped would solve itself.
“Tomorrow then.” He straightened and folded his hands on the table.
“I look forward to it,” she said.
With those words spoken, Marcus realized something else that he had not expected… that he looked forward to it also. As to why he did, again, he refused to consider such a thing. He simply was not ready.
