CHAPTER 30
Lucy was in the back garden, playing with James, when Marcus returned home.
She had spent the last hour doing whatever she could to distract herself. Knowing where Marcus had gone, and what he meant to do, her mind was awash with scenarios that she could not escape. The good and the bad both battered her into submission so that she needed something to keep her busy.
Lucky then that she had James.
She sat on a bench as James crawled through the grass. His laughter was infectious, as was his smile, and it did much to keep her feeling calm. But still… too often she would look to the back door as if she expected Marcus to walk right through and come for her.
I should have gone with him. I wanted to. But he was so insistent that he be the one to confront Lord Wembley and myfamily. I thought at first that he might have feared for my safety, but I know now that this is not the case…
The truth of the matter was that Marcus was determined to prove himself to her. He knew that he had hurt her more times than she deserved, just as he knew that he had no right to ask for her trust again. But that he was not prepared to give up meant something, and she wanted to give him this final chance.
In fact, just as Marcus was determined to prove himself, she was determined to forgive him – she wanted to forgive him. Lucy was done being alone. She was done pretending that she could live this life without Marcus in it. And if he came to her, if he did this final thing, she would know that he meant every word that he said.
Actions proving that he means what he says. Not a small gesture by any means, but we are past the point for such things.
So it was that when Marcus appeared on the balcony, striding from the back door, her heart soared. And when she saw the look on his face, relief swept through her because she knew that it was done.
“James…” She called to James, hurried toward him, and scooped him into her arms. “Come now,” she chuckled as he squirmed in an effort to be put back down. “None of that.”
With James in her arms, she walked the garden path to meet her husband.
“It’s done,” he said as he reached her. He did not look pleased about the fact, no sense of triumph or pride. Rather, there was a reserved nature in his expression, perhaps even guilt.
“Lord Wembley…”
“Arrested,” he said. “I doubt we will be hearing from him again.”
“My sister?”
“She is remorseful,” he said. “Just as I believe that she did not mean to hurt you. She acted on impulse, a false notion of love, and she was betrayed.”
“And my stepmother?” she pressed.
Marcus shook his head. “Would you believe that she was more sorry than anyone? I think she was speaking truthfully when she said that she wants to repair your relationship when they return.”
Lucy did not smile when she heard this. She did not sneer. Rather, she breathed out as if to expel the tension that she did not known was there. Her relationship with her stepmother had always been strained, even painful – her stepmother had made it so. And never had she imagined that she would want a relationship with her.
Now, Lucy realized that she was past hating the woman. As a mother herself, she understood the lengths one might gothrough to protect their own, and she was willing to concede that maybe her stepmother was merely acting on a feigned notion of motherly instinct.
It will not be easy, it will likely never be perfect, but if she wants to try, I will let her. And who knows, maybe one day we will be the family I had always hoped.
“It’s done then,” she sighed.
“It is,” Marcus said. His brow furrowed then, and his expression turned strained. “No, actually. There is… there is one more thing.”
“Oh?” Her heart skipped a beat.
“I told you already of my feelings, Lucy,” he began with a deep sigh. “When you woke last week, I told you how wrong I have been, and how I want to do better. And I meant it too. Every word.” He looked at her for an answer, and she said nothing. “It should not have taken you falling so ill for me to realize what I want. Nor should it have taken so many chances – most of which, I do not deserve.”
“It is not about what you want, Marcus,” she said. “I think you have known that for a long time. It is about admitting it to yourself and accepting it.”
“I know…”
“You were hurt as a child,” she continued. “Your notion of relationships, of being emotionally available was twisted and manipulated. I know well why you did as you did. What I want to know is…” She made sure to be looking right at him. “Are you truly ready to change?”
“I am,” he said. “I am ready. I know that now.”
